Well, Valentine’s Day falls on a Wednesday this year, so you know what that means for me. That’s right! A hot and sensual night filled with a hallmark card from my grandmother followed by a new episode of Top Design and repeats of The Real Housewives of Orange County on Bravo (hey, if I were blind I am sure I would think one of those ladies is hot).
As valentine’s day approaches, and the hunt for a suitable one-day mate escalates, I find myself with a quandary. Who to pick? There are, obviously, hundreds of choices for a stud like me, but does one person fill the role well enough?
Recently, a bunch of Wesleyan students trekked down to Washington D.C in order to protest the ever-continuing war in Iraq. In doing so, they joined a lot of others. Unfortunately, nobody with war-ending powers responds to bleeding hearts (both in protest and in combat). This is why we must all be thankful for Mrs. Libby R. Tee’s third grade class in New Haven.
The following are a few letters from a large collection that I wrote starting in freshman year of high school. I was a star-crossed lover who was in way over his head, but I suppose that’s love. Watch as my journey from a naïve romantic, to paranoid lover, to a bitter, heartbroken man unfolds!
Recently, Andrew Bean took some time to talk to the demigod behind the holiday. We thought that he would talk to him about the more famous hook-ups he inspired: Dido and Aeneas, Romeo and Juliet, and David Arquette and Courtney Cox. However, what he found out was infinitely more interesting.
In 1950, I was born under the Brooklyn Bridge to a Black disciple of Marcus Garvey and a bald Jew of the Ashkenazi strain. My parents were simultaneously addicted to welfare money, fried chicken, and Talmud studies. My skin is not a creamy cappuchino or a choclatey swirl, but rather the color (and consistency) of pruney old grapes.
After much debate and research, scientists have concluded that the "Hebrew-Money Gene" is pure schlock. "It took me 10 years and over a hundred million dollars, but I can now confidently say that Jews are, in fact, not genetically linked with money," said geneticist Frank Cummings.
So apparently, the humor publications at other schools *cough* Yale *cough* get their own house to have meetings and throw awesome ragers…and we don’t. The Ampersand should have a house. But what type of house should we have? Here are the pros and cons of the houses we’re considering.
Senator Joseph Biden, Jr.’s (D-DE) made headlines recently by going off on tangents about all of the leading Democratic candidates’ shortcomings, from Hillary’s electability and Edward’s Iraq plan, in what speculators are calling a marketing lead into his "Biden: Uncut and Uncensored: Gone Wild: Spring Break ’07" videos.
Hundreds of college students gathered in lounges and dorm rooms this past Sunday night over wings and beer to watch the year’s most-anticipated television event. Parties were planned solely for the screening, and many participants sported apparel featuring their favorite X-team members.