Happy Valentine’s Day, dear readers! Our special day has cum. With love in the air, we are all wondering if love potions really do exist. And if so, how do we get our hands on some?
Some may first think of pheromones, the chemicals released by our bodies that indicate we are fertile. Unfortunately, pheromones only attract two people if they are genetically compatible and there is not currently a consensus among scientists to support a human ability to detect pheromones. For this reason, we advise against buying concoctions labeled as human pheromones from the internet to attract a mate this Valentine’s Day. Instead, we turn our attention to methods that precisely allow us to pick who we want to be our Valentine.
We all associate food with Valentine’s Day, especially chocolate and strawberries—this association is heavily linked to the holiday’s emphasis on romance and sex. The foods of the season are thought to aid in the quest by putting the consumer in the mood. However, science disagrees.
So how did this myth come to be? For a large part of history, scientific society that studied sex was often more interested in dysfunction rather than pleasure. One could also argue that we still define sex by when our sex lives stop being pleasurable. Throughout human history, we have put emphasis on maintaining a high level of sexual arousal and satisfaction throughout our lifespan. To maintain his sensuality, Casanova, a eighteenth-century lothario, felt the need to eat 50 oysters each morning to keep up his libido and stay frisky. Other historical figures and cultures have put their own twists on the eating their way to pleasure through aphrodisiacs, named for the Greek goddess of love, but they all have the same goal to stimulate one’s sexual senses. Food is a common tool used to encourage our bodies to exert energy through copulation.
Like all sex research, aphrodisiacs are under studied because scientists can be prudes. That being said, most of your favorite aphrodisiacs, like chocolate, oysters, champagne, figs or honey, have had little to no substantial evidence that they will improve your sex life. In fact some can even have negative effects on your sex lives; for example, alcohol may lead to erectile dysfunction. If they do work, it is probably either a placebo effect—or because we all have dirty minds, and most of those foods look like vulvas. In the case of oysters, our informed professional take is that these briny, creamy, sweet, and earthy morsels remind you of something else with a very similar flavor profile. The only real promising research related to aphrodisiacs are herbs such as ginkgo, ginseng, maca, and tribulus. So put down those delicious bacon wrapped figs; instead, opt for a picnic around the ginkgo tree outside of Olin and start harvesting for your meal. We love sustainable sexual practices!
If munching on leaves is not for you, we have a better and FDA-approved love potion. Improving your diet to include more vegetables, fruits, legumes, nuts and whole grains can improve your stamina and lessen risk of erectile dysfunction. Similarly, if you are feeling healthier, you are more likely to want to engage in sexual interactions, which is the biggest turn-on there is. While you may not feel sexy using the elliptical in front of the rando from your Spanish class, it will in the long term improve your sexual performance.
Finally, we know we say this at the end of every article, but talk to your partner about what you are feeling sexually and what gets you in the mood. Ideally, you should do this in Exley so we and all of your peers can listen. Our Valentine’s Day plans are eavesdropping on other couples around campus, so contribute to our celebration of the season.
Getting ready to eat out,
Dill and Doe