This morning was my breaking point; I got that last-straw email from the Office of Study Abroad asking me to be one of their “Study Abroad Ambassadors,” and I knew I had to write about it. I guess you could call this a follow-up to my last op-ed about Wesleyan’s most infamous Office, in which I wrote about the lack of support I received dealing with institutionalized homophobia while studying abroad in Ghana. Since then, I’ve had a meeting with the Office of Study Abroad, meditated, and received so, so, so many emails…to be a Study Abroad Ambassador.

I think I need to do some explaining to make that suggestion seem as absurd to you as it does to me, so entertain me, briefly. I went to Ghana last spring break as a part of my study of Ghanaian dance at Wesleyan, which I have been engaged with since my first-year Fall. While in Ghana, I experienced institutional and cultural homophobia, including the looming approval of a bill that would criminalize homosexuality entirely, punishable by two years in prison. While I had done my research and knew about the political situation before going to Ghana, actually living in such an outwardly homophobic world felt very different, and was very difficult—especially since Wesleyan had not communicated any resources or assurances of safety to us prior to or during the trip.

And so, upon my return, I wrote about these feelings—about how I felt really, really alone and afraid, and how I did not feel as though I had been given any support from Wesleyan in dealing with this. The Office of Study Abroad read my article and asked to meet with me. I won’t cover everything we talked about in that meeting, because that feels unprofessional. But notable was their drive to make sure I wasn’t affecting their business; they wanted me to recommend studying abroad to other people, to gloss over the difficulties and focus on how it was a “learning experience.” They lamented a Black student’s decision to back out of studying abroad in Scandinavia on account of concerns about racism, and told me that they did not want that to happen again. Their implication was clear: if I warned queer students about studying abroad in countries where homosexuality is criminalized, it would look bad for them.

To me, all of this was exactly the problem. If the Office of Study Abroad cares more about their image or the number of students that go abroad than they do about student experiences, are they serving the community well? I would much rather see a few students choose not to go abroad than see my University encourage them to go abroad and experience severe racism or homophobia. The Office of Study Abroad should help students make the decisions that are right for them, rather than blindly attempt to get as many students as possible to go abroad and try to cover their PR trail behind them.

Of course, studying abroad is a valuable experience for many, but sending students of color into racist countries is perhaps not the goal. Nor should be sending queer students into countries where homosexuality is illegal. I’m not saying that these things can’t happen, but rather that they should come with the necessary support. Convincing queer students that they in fact should study abroad in Ghana so they can learn about institutionalized homophobia, or Black students in Scandinavia to learn about Scandinavian racism, is both harmful and naive. The Office should value student experience more than sheer numbers.

And now we get to the part where their constant requests for me to be an “Ambassador” for their programming seems really ironic. You could call me their PR nightmare, but I’ll wear that title like a badge of honor. I just hope that instead of continuing to ask me to speak on behalf of their programs—to talk about how much I “learned” from experiencing intense homophobia, continuing to value numbers and profits, and continuing to ignore the fact that simply not all study abroad programs are great for everyone—they decide to value students, their experiences, and their feelings above all else.

To the Office of Study Abroad: I know this article invites another email, another meeting, another request to stop bad-mouthing you in The Argus, but consider my line of communication closed. I’m not ready to be gaslit again, nor am I interested in being a Study Abroad Ambassador.

Akhil Joondeph is a member of the class of 2026 and can be reached at ajoondeph@wesleyan.edu.