With Wesleyan football’s first home game against Tufts this past weekend, we wanted to set the record straight: you can cum before your next big game, match, or tournament without negatively affecting your athletic performance. The myth that engaging in sexual activity before sports can alter one’s performance has been around since the Olympics were held in Olympia. Similar to many myths out there, it is perpetuated by individual anecdotes rather than cold, hard, sexy science.

You, yes you, athlete reading The Argus sex column, may truly believe that abstaining from sex in any form may improve your performance. You may think that you’re going to physically exert yourself before you even get in the locker room. Or, you’re going to be too busy thinking about getting freaky in the sheets when your head needs to be in the game. This is not the case. 

Depriving yourself of sexual pleasure can actually result in the negative effects that you think abstinence will solve. If you are thinking about that sweet, sweet release, but you stop yourself because Coach Bolton told you to hold off until after the game, your body and mind’s focus will remain on that sexy feeling when you are supposed to be all “SPORTS!” For all of you who are shaking your heads because we are not considering the energy that is exerted during sexual intercourse, a study from 1982 found that the average no pants dance only expends about 25 calories, which is equivalent to jump roping for one minute. If a ONE-minute jump rope warm up negatively affects your entire game performance, perhaps the jump rope is not to blame. Instead of leading to exhaustion, sexual pleasure can actually relax your body and clear your mind from the anxieties of playing, so that you can put your best cleat forward. 

Data turns us on, so we need to see some real numbers before we can be convinced. In a systematic analysis of nine studies from the last 60 years about the relationship between sexual intercourse and athletic performance, all agreed that this myth has been busted. The only studies found in the systematic analysis that agreed with this anti-sex rhetoric came too fast; they relied on poor scientific designs and were not peer-reviewed. 

Similar to all studies on sex, there is much left to be sensually explored by sex scientists. This is particularly true for non-cisgender men in sports. However, there is absolutely no non-anecdotal evidence that supports the myth that orgasming before athletic activity reduces one’s athletic performance. 

For athletes and NARPs alike, if you are looking to improve some aspect of your game (whether athletic, academic, or sexual), look into establishing healthy lifestyle habits rather than depriving yourself of sexual pleasure. No vow of celibacy can make up for your weekly bar night hangover or those drunk cigarettes. Your sexual habits should be dictated by you (and your partner(s) if applicable), not by coaches like famed Wesleyan alum Bill Belichick ’75.

We do not care what your trusted coach tells you—if you want to warm up those bones before warming up that bench, go for it. Don’t let this outdated rumor started by some old bisexuals (Greeks) get in the way of you scoring. 

Working on our fitness,

Dill & Doe