c/o Olivia Berger
Right now, I am blissfully in the plausible deniability phase with someone new, where the question marks around our connection make it all the more exciting. Dill and my other close friend are in a similar situation, enjoying the fun of questioning whether the people we are talking to are attracted to us. Since this situation is so prevalent in my life, I decided to air our musings.
The question of whether someone is attracted to you is uniquely based on the person, your dynamic, and their personality. To know if someone is attracted to you, you must look at the pattern of their behavior. It is unproductive to look at an isolated event as a sign of interest. One sign alone doesn’t give a clear picture, so it is important to look for a pattern.
One of the main things I look for in my determination of attraction is a consistent pattern of special attention. The person I’m speaking to right now is very friendly and flirtatious by nature. Still, they do not give others the same level of attention, energy, and effort they give me. They find reasons to be close, make plans with me, offer up information about their life without me having to ask, and pay particular attention to what I’m saying in a group setting.
Now, these are not stand-alone signs. My person does a few of these things for others, too. But viewed together and alongside sustained patterns of attraction—consistently messaging me all day, initiating new conversations, lingering eye contact, and an overall sexual undertone that differentiates from a friendly connection—these signal that someone is interested.
It is important to remember that interest comes in the form of effort. Therefore, a shy person’s effort may look very different than someone who is extroverted and flirtatious. What does effort look like for your person? If someone is going out of their way, trying to be closer or more intimate in some capacity, they are likely attracted to you.
Wishing you all the best in your flirtatious escapades!
Kisses and best wishes,
Dill & Doe