Hello dear readers, it’s Doe here.

Today we have a topic that is fun and confusing: crushing. I currently have two crushes with varying levels of intimacy and intensity. 

The first is a good friend of mine. The two of us are very close, and it wasn’t until a couple of days ago that I realized I had a crush on them. It’s not a crushing crush, however. It is comfortable. Even though I have a crush on them, I know I will never act on it, and this is something that I’ve accepted. My crush on them doesn’t alter my behavior, and I am still my same old self around my friend. I am not trying to coerce them into liking me romantically because I know they already like me as a friend, and I do not intend to start a relationship with them either. I simply feel the subtle pull to be around them all the time, and I get a bit giddy in their presence. Although this crush will never develop into something more, I am comfortable crushing on my friend. I do not wish it away nor yearn for something more. I just let it be.

My second crush is on someone I have never spoken with, a stranger. This crush is crushing. It has swept me off the ground into a world of fantasy. Even though I know nothing about this person, I want to be with them. I find myself trying to cross paths with them throughout the day and becoming hyper-aware of my mannerisms when they’re around. Unlike my friend crush, I want this stranger to like me. This crush is also not a secret. All of my friends know about this crush and encourage me to speak with the person and maybe express interest. But I am hesitant. Not only would that be very awkward, but I like keeping this crush a fantasy. Since the version of them I’m infatuated with is not real, this person is simply an idea of a perfect lover. 

Since I am a serial crusher, I catch feelings for people often. I had a crush on someone a couple of months ago. He started as just an idea to me as well. However, once I got to know this crush, the whole fantasy of his intrigue and coolness dissolved right before my very eyes. He became very unattractive very quickly. So part of me wants to uphold a little fantasy because, well, it’s fun. 

There are varying levels of crushing, and most of them are dependent upon the proximity to the person. The more you know someone, the more they are real, and the more you are able to be real around them. Knowing someone can make the crush less crushing and emotionally turbulent. Sometimes it is essential to step outside the fantasy realm if the crush is becoming too crazed. Still, it is my belief that there is no harm in a fantasy of love surrounding us. 

Have fun crushing, 

Dill & Doe