When two people first start dating, the newness of everything makes every kiss and touch feel like fireworks. But inevitably that “new” feeling starts to fade, and especially after a year or two together it can be easy to fall into a routine when it comes to sex. If you’re anything like Dill, that new, honeymoon-stage feeling is addictive, and when it starts to wear off it can create a little panic.
You could very well do what Dill did, which was panic-order the fattest box of sex toys money can buy, full of multicolored whips, chains, blindfolds, and gags. It can definitely be fun to experiment with BDSM if that sounds appealing to you and your partner, but to some of us, upping the kinkiness level can feel intimidating or just plain unappealing. Luckily, there are loads of ways to re-energize your sex life, and those begin with tapping into the five senses. Using the senses can allow you to explore new sensations and delve more deeply into your sex life. These tips are also great for adding some spice to your solo sessions!
Starting off with one of the most obvious: touch. A fun way to play with touch is by adding some temperature fluctuations, which can be done with ice or hot wax (heated to a safe temperature). We love using body oil or setting the mood with a scented candle and using the hot wax for a massage (though avoid candles if you’re in University housing!). If you prefer a cold shock, you could try taking a piece of ice and dragging it over your or your partner’s body. If ice directly on the skin feels like too much, ask your partner to put the ice on their fingers or in their mouth before touching you for a slightly less intense experience.
An arguably underused sense during sex, taste can add spice (literally) to your sexy time. Grab your favorite ice cream, sauce, or whipped cream and have fun licking it off your partner. Taste is also a great sense to add to foreplay before jumping into the shower together. If you’re after a less sticky alternative, try a flavored lube.
Smell is the ultimate way to set up your environment for some sexy fun, so change things up with a scented candle (or try a flame-free option like a room spray if you live in a dorm).
While it can be common to get in a rut of throwing Netflix on in the background and getting to it (we’d be lying if we said “Shrek” hasn’t been our sex soundtrack on more than one occasion), taking the time to curate your audio experience is an easy way to shake up the environment. Try creating a new sex playlist, opting for romantic, chill music to spark the intimate love-making vibes, or go for something exciting and energetic if you want to play with some rougher, wilder sex. You can also try switching up the way you communicate with your partner during sex. If you tend to be on the quieter side, why not try a little dirty talk? Or dabble in some roleplay?
One of the most powerful ways to use sight to spice up your sex life is actually to get rid of it. By using a blindfold or dark environment, the body’s other senses go into overdrive, making every touch and taste that much more intoxicating. Pair a blindfold with the ice or hot wax from the touch section to level up the experience, or simply enjoy touching your partner with the freedom of darkness.
Finally, we want to emphasize how totally normal it is for things to start feeling a bit routine in the bedroom once the newness of a relationship has worn off. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with you, your relationship, or your sex life. There’s nothing wrong with craving newness in sex or, for that matter, enjoying the routine! The senses are powerful and approachable ways to explore your partner’s (and your own) body as if it were the first time.
Have fun, sexy people,
Dill & Doe