Note: This event took place prior to the COVID-19 outbreak in the United States. The Argus is not advocating to partake in any sexual activities that break the rules of quarantine/social distancing.

Rachel Godfrey ’19 returned to campus to facilitate a discussion-based workshop about “building our erotic legacy” on Feb. 27. Godfrey is a music and culture writer, poet, and arts educator. Her bylines include gal-dem and The Black Youth Project and she is the author of “Leak: An Erotic Chapbook.”

“The last time I spoke in front of a large group of people at Wesleyan, it was in front of Marc Lamont Hill and age 50+ Black folks, about an unfortunate sexual relationship with a white man who used to 1) oil me up and ask me to dance for him like I was a video girl and 2) whose favorite movie was Hardball,” Godfrey wrote in an email to The Argus after the lecture. “I actually don’t know which part was more terrifying for them, or for me. BUT I don’t think the points about pleasure and priority really hit the way I was hoping they would with that crowd. This was another opportunity to build on what I started there, on a crowd that may have been more open to hearing the material. And less in shock.”

The title she used, “My Pussy Wrote a Thesis,” was inspired by a Noname song entitled “Self” that led Godfrey to think about the power of the pussy and how it can educate and enlighten, which provided the foundation for her presentation.

Before the workshop began, Godfrey greeted all of her participants as they stepped through the door. She then led participants through a round of introductions before prefacing what  she hoped attendees would take away from her three-part presentation. 

She introduced the three sections of her presentation: in the “THE EROTIC/THE PORNOGRAPHIC” section, participants would learn what these terms meant and why they are important. In “THE EROTIC, IN OUR SEXUAL CONTEXT,” attendees would discuss sex and come to understand that when Audre Lorde was discussing “the erotic” she was talking about deep satisfaction including, but not limited to, sex. Finally, in “THE EROTIC, BEYOND SEX,” participants would come to know why they should fight to make deep satisfaction a priority, and how their communities could benefit from pleasure-based, erotic living.

“I wanted it to be more discussion based than a lecture,” Godfrey wrote. “One, because I don’t think people are as engaged when someone is just speaking in front of them. No matter how dynamic the speaker is. Two, the material we were going over was best described in smaller groups because it gives people a little more room for vulnerability.”

The first activity before attendees delved into the first section was titled “How Do You Want To Feel?” For this activity, participants were expected to write down the most meaningful conversation they had about sex with a friend, family member, a partner or partners, or even a stranger. They then split themselves into groups to discuss what they wrote with others in their group.

Afterward, participants were introduced to Audre Lorde and her 1978 essay ‘The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power’ in which Lorde differentiated between the Erotic vs. the Pornographic. Godfrey walked her audience through the difference between the two.

“THE EROTIC: An acknowledgment of feeling, enrichment, and pleasure, and the actions taken afterward to ensure one’s life is catered to these feelings. A kind of ecstasy that doesn’t grow old Vs. THE PORNOGRAPHIC: “Superficially erotic” — appeals exclusively to our senses Suppression of feelings, pleasure, Can experience sensory, physical, pleasures, but can never fully grasp deep, thorough fulfillment,” the slides read.

“Inayah [Bashir ’20]/Ujamaa [the University’s Black student union] asked me to focus on legacy building, and I thought about the role models and experiences who have shaped me through their afterlives,” Godfrey wrote. “Audre Lorde is one of those people, and reflecting on my sexual experiences are a hefty chunk of what have helped me grow. Together, they have taught me about what kills pleasure and joy, and what gives it the chance to live.”

Godfrey then prompted the audience to consider the following questions prompted on her slides.

“What/who threatens our ability to feel deep satisfaction? What does succumbing to these threats look like?”

“Capitalism is the umbrella [and under this umbrella follows] racism, sexism, homophobia, fatphobia, lack of access to sex education, placement of emotional literacy on the back burner, lack of accountability, unhealed traumas including intergenerational,” Godfrey’s slides read. “[Common responses to these threats to our pleasure] includes shame, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, confusion, physical arousal, reckless sexual experiences.”

Attendees then  moved on to the second interactive activity titled “How Do You Want To Fuck? Part 2: The Practice.” Participants were asked to write and discuss the sensorial experience of their ideal sexual relationship. 

Then Godfrey talked about another author, Adrienne Maree Brown, and her work, “Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good.” 

“Audre Lorde’s work is the foundational text, for me and many other folks interested in Black women’s livelihood, for talking about pleasure,” Godfrey wrote. “She coined the terms that I used and put it into poetic terms. Adrienne Maree Brown took that text and built a beautiful secondary work that dove even deeper into what pleasure can actually look like in social justice work. And then I picked the examples I used as a way to apply the work they’ve done using cultural examples from hip hop, literature, and more.”

One of Godfrey’s examples in what she referred to as “The Culture” was Octavia Butler’s book,“Parable of the Sower” set in a dystopian society where the Black female protagonist has “hyper empathy” which means she cannot do well if everyone around her is not doing well, which is quite exhausting. Godfrey explained how the book shows how important it is for people to take care and set rules for themselves.

Godfrey used rapper Megan Thee Stallion as another example of a woman who is unapologetically herself, and her lyrics are sexually explicit in the ways in which she desires to experience pleasure. 

Participants then watched an interview with author Karrine Steffans, who describes her struggle in reclaiming her sexual power when she engaged in sexual relations with notable figures in hip-hop industry such as Lil Wayne.

“As I’ve become older I’ve become more aware of my sexuality, understanding sex is a power,” Steffans said in the interview. “And that like any power, it is more powerful when harnessed. She does not deserve to be judged for using her power.”

Steffans explained the paradox of slut-shaming rhetoric. 

“The thing about slut-shaming is that you want a woman with experience, [men] want to be pleasured, however ‘How did she learn how to suck other penises’ is a thought that lingers,” Steffans said.“If you shame a woman for doing her sexual research, then you make her feel bad for gaining knowledge… I’m not going to suck a dick unless I am gonna do it great… When a woman isn’t good in bed you’re going to shame her but then if she’s good in bed you’re going to shame her. Make up your fucking mind.”

Steffans made it clear why she will not feel bad about using her sexual power.

“I can fuck who I want, when I want, how I want, as many times as I want, where I want, wherever, it doesn’t matter I can do whatever I want,” Steffans said. “Whatever makes me happy, I can do that.”

Godfrey also highlighted some other influences on her work in an interview with The Argus.

“Patricia Hill Collins, who wrote ‘Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender, and the New Racism’ [is] also one of the main writers who have shaped the way I think about experience, sex, and more,” Godfrey wrote. “One of the guiding themes in Collins’ work is that experience should be prioritized just as much as ‘scholarly’ work in academia. Aph and Syl Ko, who co-authored ‘Aphro-ism: Essays on Pop Culture, Feminism, and Black Veganism from Two Sisters.’ Their work has been life-changing for me; they talk about blowing up the current framework through which we view social justice, to include non-human beings. They also have a great essay that ties how we fetishize women with how we fetishize nature.”

Afterward, in the next and final activity titled “How Do You Want To Live? The Praxis,” participants reflected in new groups about what others have shared in the other two activities. Then, each group picked from the topics consumption, food, pornography, social media, entertainment, and drugs, and demonstrated how their conversations around “the erotic” and sex can help reframe their approaches to advocacy around these matters.

Godfrey wrapped up the event by stating that her audience builds their erotic legacies by living and that the erotic is the future. 

“I hoped participants walked away with an understanding that prioritizing our pleasure is key to wellness,” Godfrey wrote. “As Audre and Adrienne cover, women who, at some point early on, get a taste of what it means to really feel and to really feel good will not settle for anything less than that feeling. And that it honestly may come from some amazing sex, cooking an amazing meal for yourself, singing in front of people, or an amazing microdosing experience. The key to letting pleasure rule is to never let anyone reduce you into someone who is alive just to serve them and their needs.”

 

Ashley Ogwang can be reached at aogwang@wesleyan.edu.