Are you a freshman just beginning to explore the Wes food scene? Did you work so hard on a paper this weekend that you forgot to eat and/or forgot where one goes to eat? Are you looking for someone to finally settle the ongoing argument between you and your roommate over the superiority of two different coffee places? Then look no further. Here is a definitive ranking of the best places to eat each meal on campus.
Best Breakfast: Pi Café
If you’re in a hurry or just looking to find a tasty snack before class, Pi is the place to go. It is conveniently located in Exley, which means it’s not too far from any of your classes. It’s also open far longer than Usdan, and let’s face it: how many of us are willing to get up before 9 a.m. for a sit-down breakfast of cold eggs and potatoes? Pi offers a range of coffee and food options, including bagels, croissants, donuts, and yogurt. It also has a bustling and upbeat vibe, since the café is always playing music. If you’re lucky, you’ll get there on a day when they’re blasting Spanish-sung hits all morning. To top it all off, nothing’s too expensive. Most mornings you won’t spend more than five points, which is definitely worth it for an iced coffee and a blueberry bagel.
Best Brunch: Usdan
While Usdan breakfast is abysmal on weekdays, weekend brunch is where it’s at. Don’t spend your precious points on an omelet from Red & Black or a pail from Swings when you can get all that and more for one meal swipe at Usdan! Even if you’re on an all-points plan, you should still go to Usdan, because you’ll spend less there than anywhere else on campus. Sure, the lines can be long, but it’s Saturday! Why are you in such a hurry? Relax and pile your plate full of omelets, waffles, bacon, home fries, and those delicious baked goods at the vegan station. Your homework or darty can wait until you’ve been properly fed.
Best Lunch: WesWings
You had your bagel from Pi and now you want some real food. Sure, you could go to Usdan, but honestly, why would you? You could also go to Summies, but do you really want to wait an hour for a caprese salad and some limp sweet potato fries? If you do, that’s your prerogative, but all the cool cats go WesWings (the coolest cats call it Swings). Swings has all the comfort food that your dead soul could need. Shove those mozz sticks in your face and forget about the fact that you haven’t written that 10-page paper due tomorrow. That’s a problem for future you! Right now, grab the biggest plate of wings (or a nice mushroom burger if you’re a vegetarian), a cup of Swings’ famous cookie dough, and go to town.
Best Dinner: Star & Crescent
When your friends encourage you to get out and have dinner with them, S&C is the place to go. It’s a little restaurant inside of Alpha Delt, and it’s Wes’ best-kept secret. They make delicious gourmet meals like fajitas and miso salmon. Sit together with friends or get to know some new people at the large communal tables. Swoon in synchrony with your tablemates over your delicious meal, and offer to eat anything they don’t. You’ll have a great meal and you’ll forget all about the work you haven’t done. Finish with a homemade S&C dessert and a full stomach. Bonus: the first three freshmen eat free!
Best Dessert: Red & Black
So you still haven’t written that paper. Makes sense, you’ve spent your whole day eating. Well, why not combine work and food at Red & Black! They have ample table space for laying out mountains of notebooks, and the booths are perfect for crying in the fetal position. Nurse your sadness with one of Red & Black’s amazing cookies or fresh-made desserts. They’ve got all the cakes: red velvet, cheese, chocolate, pie (not technically a cake but still delicious). Grab a cup of coffee too; you’ve got a long night ahead of you.
Best Place to Eat When It’s Midnight and Your GPA is on the Line: Late Night
You’ve written about three pages when your stomach starts to growl. This doesn’t quite make sense because you’ve eaten your body weight in food today, but somehow you need a snack. The only problem is that it’s midnight and nothing is open. Nothing that is, except Late Night. Now many of you are probably thinking: what about Whey? HOW COULD YOU NOT MENTION THE CHEESE OF THE GODS? It’s not a Wesleyan establishment so shut up. It’s not going to be on this list. So, yes, technically Late Night wins by default, but winning by default is still winning, right? Run on over to Usdan using all the energy you have left from the seven cups of coffee and three Redbulls you drank in the last hour and grab a burger, some fries, and a bag of cookies. Then fall asleep fully clothed with your laptop on your chest, surrounded by a pile of Usdan receipts and crumbs.