I’m a senior and this is supposed to be the Golden Age of my time at Wesleyan, but it’s feeling weirdly lackluster. I’ve had a wonderful time at Wes and made a lot of good memories, but with four weeks left I just feel discontent. My old friends are grating on me, my new friends are great but mostly younger and I don’t have the history with them to make them good nostalgia partners. Am I wrong to be hoping for something more? What should I do?
— Movin’ Out, ’16
Dear Movin’ Out,
You’ve hit upon something pretty important: Shit isn’t always as great as we think it should be. When I graduated high school, I felt so mediocre about the final few months. We pulled pranks and everyone started kissing each other, but I felt underwhelmed. This, it turns out, is a really normal response and one that can even be pretty healthy. If people are having an awesome last few weeks, how much harder is it to leave? Yeah, some people are having a better time than you right now. But that is always true! They’re enjoying the last month, and you’re kind of over it. But that will just make it so much easier for you to adjust to the real world. When I left high school I was excited and ready for college because my last months of high school were kind of lackluster.
New friends are great, even if they are younger, and you can spend this time with them without worrying that you should just be living in the past. Your old friends are probably feeling weird, too. You’ll be friends again, or you’ll totally lose touch. Either way, you’re fine. Enjoy the daily stuff that makes you happy: sitting on Foss, sitting on the grass outside Olin, sitting outside Pi (I love the sun). And stop trying to force some sort of transcendent nostalgia ride back through your college days of yore.
I’m new to Wescam and don’t know how to start. Any thoughts?
— Looking, ’19
You and me both, kiddo. I’m not new to it, but I sure as shit don’t know what to do. Honestly, just add people you have crushes on. Don’t play games. If you add someone and they haven’t added you back, tough titties. If you added someone and they have added you back, you’re in a better place than when you wrote in! Don’t get swept up and start guessing and strategizing. Just be real. Also, if we were real more often, these last few weeks wouldn’t be such a sexual frenzy. Food for thought.
I’m a senior, and I don’t really care about academics anymore. Sadie, what do I do?
— Struggling with Senioritis ’16
Honestly, fuck it.
My dad wants to vote for Trump and I want to remain on speaking terms with my dad. What do I do?
–Liberal Reject Child ’17
That is a huge bummer. IDK, paternity test? To be frank politics are my least favorite thing to talk about. To deal with it, I don’t. Why do you and your dad need to discuss it? So your dad wants to vote for Trump. My dad bought camo cut-offs one time! You have to let your parents learn from their own mistakes. Parents are silly and embarrassing, but they can eventually learn. Whenever my parents annoy me, I just think about how someday I’ll wear their jewels and sell their house. So let your dad do his thing and don’t say a damn word. He’ll recognize his own mistake someday soon. Don’t be gloaty and annoying about it when he comes back to his senses. Don’t pick fights you can’t win with people you love, especially people who are your parents. Just keep smiling and imagine how sweet that legal pot will be under the reign of whichever liberal democrat we college students elect. Side note: Register to vote, for fuck’s sake.