Drunken Goods promises to make all of your 2 a.m. dreams come true.

℅ Drunken Goods

That oh-so-satisfying bite of comfort food at 2 a.m. is arguably the best part of any given weekend night out. However, in the chillier months of fall or winter, this staple weekend experience is often hampered by a cold wind that circles around sites like the falafel truck and Whey Station unrelentingly, not to mention incredibly long lines of  hungry students. Luckily, Drunken Goods, a student-run bakery business founded by Linsin Smith ’16 and Celia Joyce ’16, has emerged as a solution to this late-night foodie dilemma.

Smith and Joyce conceived their idea for the business last year when they were living together in Psi U. Essentially, they were dissatisfied by the lack of sweets among the nighttime snacks offered on campus.  Although the NoRA truck, with its scrumptious array of cupcakes, offers a perfectly viable outlet for late-night sweet cravings, its appearances at Wes are rare. Therefore, upon discovering that they both love baking, the duo decided to make Drunken Goods a reality and put an end to the dessert deficit. Open every Thursday through Saturday, from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m., the business offers both pickup and delivery.

The snacks offered by Drunken Goods differ from other late-night eats at Wes not only because they are sweet, but also because they are homemade. The business is also unique in that it offers personal delivery to any location on campus for only $1 extra. Sporting backpacks filled with freshly baked cookies, brownies, and more, Smith and Joyce embark on their weekend excursions prepared for late-night texts from student customers.

“One thing that truly makes us better and different is the way our delivery system works,” Joyce said. “If you see me out on Fountain, or at a party, and I have my cookies with me, that’s pickup. If you want a cookie delivery, you can just text me and I will go and deliver it to you.”

Occasionally Joyce and Smith will have some cookies or brownies left over from a weekend when they didn’t make as many sales as they intended. This is another unique feature of Drunken Goods, attributed to the personal nature of the business: Sunday leftovers are up for grabs. If you are sitting in Exley trying to last-minute cram for Monday’s test, a little help from a Drunken Goods chocolate chip cookie might go a long way.

Drunken Goods’ satisfying array of munchies also serve as cheaper option to the slightly overpriced eats offered by the typical food trucks. Classic chocolate chip cookies go for $1 each, chocolate peanut butter cookies are $2, and gooey brownies are $3. Further discounts are even offered if you buy in bulk (10 chocolate chip cookies for $9). The girls at Drunken Goods also take into account the possibility that not every student that wants (or, in some cases, needs) a sweet treat will have cash on them. In this case, the business also accepts Venmo payment. After talking with the girls for a few minutes, Smith offered me one of her favorite chocolate peanut butter chip cookies, which were absolutely delicious. She also informed me that Drunken Goods menu options change from week to week.

“We always have chocolate chip cookies, but this past week we added brownies and the chocolate peanut butter cookie,” Smith said. “[This week] we also made chocolate cannoli cupcakes, which I really liked.”

The Drunken Goods menu changes (with the exception of the staple chocolate chip) each week based both on student feedback and their own culinary inspiration. Next week, for example, the girls plan to introduce the “Dream Bar,” a confection complete with chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, graham cracker crust, coconut, walnuts, and sweet condensed milk. In coming weeks, they will also be open to suggestions from other students.

It is clear that Drunken Goods was founded not only to satisfy Joyce and Smith, who have a genuine passion for making delectable pastries, but also to satisfy the sweet teeth of the entire Wes student population. As Joyce explained, the business also provides her and Smith with the opportunity to have positive and rewarding interactions with their peers.

“We are for students, by students,” she said. “I like positive interactions with people, and generally when I’m delivering people cookies its always a super positive interaction and a great time.”

If you want to enjoy a drunken good this weekend, text your order to either (973)647-8161 or (781)733-7462. Smith and Joyce will respond as promptly as possible. For questions about or suggestions for Drunken Goods, email thedrunkengoods@gmail.com. Also be sure to check out the business’ Facebook and Instagram pages for updates on the baked goods being sold that evening. Happy munching!

  • F. Scott Titzgerald

    I always preferred ordering terrible Dominos pizza at 2 a.m. and destroying the entire large pie before passing out on my floor. But this sounds cool.