Make Beta House a Part of WestCo

, by The WestCo Presidents,

The houses currently occupied by Wesleyan fraternities are arguably the most coveted living spaces on campus. Historically, events hosted in the luxurious houses along High St. have made up the majority of the Wesleyan nightlife.

Due to the recent probationary status of both Psi Upsilon and Beta Theta Pi, the Wesleyan social scene is suffering greatly. Two once-prime concert venues are sitting defunct; their lights dimmed, raucous young voices hushed, hulking over the scenic Wesleyan skyline like a pair of stars reduced to lifeless cosmic shells of their former, radiant selves. We can all agree that it is the inherent responsibility of any liberal arts administration worth its salt to ensure that there exist party spaces for its students, and in that regard Wesleyan is failing. Badly.

However, there is an easy solution that benefits all *parties*. The WestCo Cafe has grown into its place as a serious(ly awesome) venue, and there is more room to expand. Give Beta House to WestCo and the campus nightlife will be reinvigorated beyond all recognition. Give Beta House to WestCo and upperclassmen will wallow in shame, no longer able to dangle their wispy memories of the good old days of yore above the heads of freshmen who can now party harder (colloquial term for ‘safer’) than any previous class in the history of Wesleyan University. Give Beta House to WestCo and this godforsaken school will finally step into its rightful place as king of the ‘CAC.

In addition to a total social scene overhaul, a WestCo expansion provides benefits for the whole of the Wesleyan/greater Middletown community. With a fifth building (tentative title: EastWestCo? still taking suggestions), West College can become the academic powerhouse that its manifest destiny demands. Weed smoking (colloquial term for ‘doing homework’) will be at an all time high, naked parties (colloquial term for ‘study sessions’) will take place as close to 24/7 as class schedules allow, and everybody everywhere is always invited. Always. Everywhere.

Beta House. WestCo 5. Easy call.

  • Michael Roth

    This is an intensely good idea.

    • Douglas Bennet

      No, it is not.

  • wtf?

    How… was this even published?

  • Who is John Galt?

    The main problem with this is your use of the word GIVE. People like you, who expect, who demand, who ask for things, rather than earn them. You mooch of the producers. You write papers on abstract thought and theory, and do nothing useful for the society you criticize so openly.
    GIVE Westco the house? Come and take it, openly, by club and force. Don’t try and make it seem that what you’re doing is for the better good. We will not partake in the illusion, in the game, in the delusion that this school’s management is improving.

    • Anon

      Wait let me get this straight, you actually think this is serious, like you have absolutely no idea it’s a joke?

      • Who is John Gait?

        Wait let ME get this straight, you actually think this is serious, like you have absolutely no idea it’s a joke?

      • Who ls John Gait?

        Wait let ME get this straight, you actually have no idea, like you absolutely think it’s a joke? This is serious.

      • Who is John Galt

        But then again, WHO IS JOHN GALT?

  • Anonymous ’18

    This is honestly a horrible idea.

    • Michael Roth

      Expelled

  • Beta Bro

    You guys can have the house. It’s a dump anyway.

  • The Real M Roth

    Is this article a joke? Can’t ever tell with WestCo! There’s no better way to convince this “godforsaken school” that the Beta house should remain closed than by writing about how you all want to turn it into a haven for naked, drug-filled parties. If, somehow, WestCo was expanded to include the Beta house (with the authors presumably living there), that would expand the Wes social scene options – it would be AWESOME. But you think that environment is what the Wesleyan administration wants to encourage? …And you wonder why WestCo is getting gradually shut down/normalized. It’s better to lie, and say you want the house for reasons that the administration agrees with, then flaunt the rules and party anyway in true Wesleyan spirit — but y’all might have burned that bridge already with this dumb oped.

    • Who is John Galt?

      Wait let me get this straight, you actually think this is serious, like you have absolutely no idea it’s a joke?

  • Anon

    WestCo already has a party space. I would be interested in a Rho Ep/Chi Psi or a Rho Ep/ AEPi joint house that allows men and women to collaboratively run the space.

  • Zacko

    Make it as space for everyone. A NEW GYM!! First floor should be an aerobics studio that turns into a student run party space at night, and the upper levels should be more gym. Like about how ideal that would be geographically. Think about how many more people can feel comfortable at the gym at 4 pm. The gym is overcrowded and poorly placed on campus. Use this space productively.

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