On the first day of my summer internship at the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (CSPH), I watched two hours of porn. I had been assigned to plan an event called Queer Porn Night, a process which, besides providing me with some hilarious Facebook statuses and awkward phone calls to my parents, taught me more than any other task I was assigned. (Remember: though I attribute much of my knowledge to the CSPH, I write this column in a personal capacity. It should not be read as an official CSPH publication, or one that necessarily represents the organization and its views.)

Porn is, of course, a highly controversial topic, and while I will not be going in depth about the larger industry, I do want to clarify my position. I believe that the porn industry has some problematic practices and standards, but I do not believe that there is anything inherently wrong with pornography. Much of the stigma around watching porn (for example, that it has negative effects on individuals’ sex lives) is, in my opinion, unfounded. Porn can actually be a really important way to develop your own fantasies and to communicate them to your partners. In the same vein, people who create and perform in porn are doing truly important work. This is particularly true when it comes to ethical porn.

When I rattle off my list of adjectives to describe the porn I’m going to talk about here—ethically produced, feminist, sex-positive, queer—people look at me as though I’ve told them to go watch the birth documentary “The Miracle of Life” again (frightened, unconvinced) or else as though I’ve told them I am a porn actor myself (uneasy, judgmental). So let’s pretend we’re in ninth-grade English class for a moment and define our terms.

Porn is described as ethical when it is produced with fair working conditions and when its actors are paid fair wages. Performers maintain agency over what sexual activity they engage in, and with whom. They are consenting adults, and as you can imagine, in many cases the reality of their consent makes this porn a truer representation of sexual life (real orgasms and all).

Porn is regarded as feminist primarily in cases where it takes women into account as viewers and shows female pleasure in a realistic manner. It also ties in easily with sex-positivity, a popular philosophy here at Wes that emphasizes consent, enthusiastic communication, pleasure, and safety in sex. Sex-positive porn clearly depicts the use of protection and lube, as well as consent and communication in their many forms.

Queer porn is something of an umbrella term that usually encompasses these other descriptors, and it means different things to different people. Essentially, queer porn showcases different pairings or groupings of sexual partners, gender fluidity, and various types of sex and kink. It incorporates body-positivity by representing and including various body types, abilities, genders, and colors without fetishizing them. It humanizes its performers.

You might notice that these categories start to blend a bit. In fact, they usually overlap. Many traits that I assigned to one particular term also apply to one or more of the others, and you are unlikely to find porn that fulfills one and only one of those criteria. Though I separated them out to define them, I am advocating for porn that includes all of these aspects.

The porn that I watched to plan Queer Porn Night shifted the way I thought about others’ bodies and sexualities, as well as my own. It validated the laughter and awkwardness that are often unavoidable in sex and are usually pretty fun. It showed protection, lube, consent, and communication as the givens that they should be. And most importantly, it celebrated bodies that are so often devalued and either hyper-sexualized or deprived of their sexuality. It shifted the way I look at the world and at sex—and that was just in the two weeks I spent planning this event. Of course, I’m not saying that everyone will be so affected; after all, I was watching it at work, fully clothed, and taking notes. But if you let it, this fabulous smut might actually change your worldview—or at least your sex life—for the better.

I have spent a lot of time focused on the adjectives that go in front of the word “porn,” and for some of you, that may have taken a bit of its sex appeal away. But I also want to take a moment to reassure anyone who is intimidated by the jargon or by my not-so-subtle convictions: this porn is feminist, sex-positive, ethical, queer, and straight-up pornographic. It’s hot. It’s dirty. It’s kinky. It’s interesting. And it’s varied.

This porn isn’t just more relatable for folks whose bodies or sex lives are not represented in mainstream pornography. It is also great for cisgender, straight, white, able-bodied, in-shape men—that is to say, the audience probably least shafted (pun very much intended) by most mainstream porn. No matter what type of body or what type of sex you have, ethical porn can probably provide you with a more realistic and humanizing representation.

The biggest issue for a lot of us is probably money. It is hard to find ethical porn that is free, and though I think it is important to pay for your porn at least some of the time (see “ethical”), I recognize that many of us cannot afford that. Courtney Trouble’s Queer Porn Tube is a free, universal porn site with a solid amount of variety. I Feel Myself is a great project that represents female self-pleasure in various ways, and usually has some videos available for free on the site.

If I haven’t convinced you, or if I have and you are now frantically searching the Internet for porn that meets these criteria, there are some truly incredible resources out there to help you better understand and find it. Wesleyan’s favorite sex educator, Megan Andelloux, gives a great overview in the video “Ask Oh Megan and The CSPH; Where Do I Find Ethical Porn?” You should also check out Courtney Trouble’s article “How I Found My Gender through Being a Queer Porn Star” in the Huffington Post; the longer essay “Superfreaky: Queerness, Feminism, and Aesthetics in Queer Pornography” on Pink Label’s website (images NSFW); and Autostraddle’s compilation of information and opinions from several badass queer pornographers, called “You Need Help: The Quest for Awesome Queer Feminist Porn.” Also check out the Good for Her Feminist Porn Awards on the group’s website or its Facebook page and Twitter.

I wish you all the best on your quest for ethical, feminist, sex-positive, queer porn. May the path be sprinkled with latex gloves, Hitachi magic wands, new fantasies, and various hot humans.

Baurer is a member of the class of 2015.