When Elizabeth Litvitskiy ’15 found out she was a WesCeleb, her email response was, “DUDE THIS IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER ASPIRED TO LET’S INTERVIEW ON WEDNESDAY AND THEN I WILL IMMEDIATELY DROP OUT OF SCHOOL.” She and I sat down outside of Shanklin to discuss comedy, excessive eating, and the importance of chipmunks.
The Argus: Why do you think you’re a WesCeleb?
Elizabeth Litvitskiy: I really hope it’s WesWings. I try to be there as often as—I don’t try; I just happen to be there a lot. More often I am there giving people meals than I have time to eat with people. And then I also used to have red hair. Which was a time. Maybe that was noticeable. I kind of miss it and would love to know if I should bring it back.
A: What about WesWings makes you a WesCeleb?
EL: I am fucking always there. Is that gonna say “expletive?”
A: No, it’ll probably say “fucking.”
EL: Oh, cool! Argus is so hip.
A: So what else are you involved with on campus, other than working at WesWings?
EL: I am involved in Lunchbox! And I’m the tallest female member of Lunchbox. I want to say I’m the tallest member, period, but I’m actually not sure. I will find out. What Lunchbox is, for the Wesleyan world who might not know: We are the only live sketch comedy group. We keep evolving. We used to be the only sketch comedy group, but the comedy scene is expanding. I’m pretty sure we’re still the only live sketch comedy group. It’s a good time. I wish I was doing more for it, but I keep being tired.
A: How did you get into comedy?
EL: I don’t know, I auditioned for Lunchbox when I was a freshman. And before that, I tweeted.
A: Is your Twitter presence something to behold?
EL: Oh my god, I wish. I’m not consistent with it. I come back to it when I’m on break, but I do try to keep it clear of anything but jokes that I like enough. So I’m probably going to tweet, spoiler alert: “Bras are booby traps.” But I feel like I’ve already tweeted that.
A: So what’s your favorite way to pass the time when you’re not doing that or doing work?
EL: [Pause]. This is the longest pause ever. What do I fucking do? [Pause]. I’m mostly doing work, and I’ve tried to watch movies as much as possible. I sit in my house and eat too much.
A: No, that sounds like fun. What do you usually eat too much of?
EL: I have access to a lot of Chips Ahoy! right now. And they’re the mini Chips Ahoy! and they’re actually so tasty. They’re better than real Chips Ahoy! I think it’s the bags. So yeah, I’ve had too much access to that right now. And cheese! And I snack throughout all of my WesWings shifts and then convince myself that I’ve snacked enough, and I don’t need to eat dinner, but then I’m hungry in half an hour.
A: That’s a good way to spend your time. It’s how I spend my time.
EL: I love that you’re a food person. Oh, that’s my main Internet thing: that I read a lot of food blogs. But I also look at the pictures.
A: Food Porn Daily?
EL: Oh my god, yes. So much clicking. And even though I’ve already seen it all, I’ll just put it on random and be like, “Ah, I remember that! That was a few years ago!”
A: So, what’s your major?
A: How’s it going?
EL: Good! I’m tired. I love it. It’s not even real sometimes. The department has its politics, and it’s a funny place to be, but I love that I watch movies in my classes. Yesterday was probably the second time in my film major career that we were purposely shown a bad movie so we could talk about it, and there was this moment after the class, like, “What is the professor about to say? Are you about to try to convince us that this was good?” But then I checked on Rotten Tomatoes, and it had gotten 86%, and I don’t understand.
A: Are you working on a film thesis?
EL: I am! It’s fun. I’m really enjoying it. I had a series of fuckups this past weekend, where I thought I was so together, but then I forgot things….But I swear, I’m prepared in most other ways. I’m looking forward to it.
A: Do you have any teasers for the general public?
EL: It’s just a really self-indulgent movie that’s highly autobiographical. It’s about me and my mom and about being Russian.
A: You went to Prague for study abroad. How was that?
EL: I did. It was awesome. It was my first time traveling. Actually, I have never been to Russia, but I met Russian people while I was in Europe, and they were like, ‘“You should probably go to Russia.” And I think they’re right, and I will eventually do that. But yeah, it was definitely my first time being out of the country by myself and going to multiple countries—nine, I think—and that was really great. And it was great being of legal age to drink alcohol there and getting to go to bars. I’m still not that age here.
A: How’s senior year going so far?
EL: I was describing to someone today that September was the honeymoon period where I thought I had everything together, but now I have stuff due. What happened? Suddenly: midterms. But otherwise, it’s interesting. What’s up with the weather, am I right? Like, what’s up with that squirrel over there?
A: I’ve seen a lot of skunks.
EL: I’ve been seeing a groundhog that might be a beaver. And I saw a chipmunk yesterday! That was thrilling. It reminded me of my childhood. There was a time when I was really sick in bed for multiple days, and I spent a lot of my time looking out the window and watching chipmunks. And I would have people plant corn puffs for them, and I would watch them steal them.
A: So other than watching chipmunks, what’s your pre-Wesleyan history?
EL: My pre-Wesleyan history? I didn’t really have a life until I came here. I would go home in time for primetime television, and I lived an hour away from school. So I would tell my friends that I took the train with that if they were planning on dilly-dallying that I wasn’t going to wait for them. If they were trying to be social, I would be like, “‘Bones’ is on at 8.”
A: Where would you say you feel most at home at Wesleyan?
EL: I lived in International House for a year and a half. That was a really big deal for me. It’s a ridiculously great place where a series of excellent people have passed through. I’m still friends with all of them. They’re in my dreams, and several of them are abroad. It was so awesome because IHouse took me back from abroad. The place changes from semester to semester, but there is a wonderful core to it.
A: Do you have a favorite IHouse memory?
EL: There was a night where [my friends and I] watched “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” and fell asleep on the couches and hurt our necks, and it was one of the most glorious nights of my life.
A: What advice would you give your freshman self?
EL: I would definitely say go to IHouse; I would definitely say go abroad.
A: So you did well!
EL: Yes, I’m perfect! Also, I feel like I must have been so annoying as a freshman. I’m very school-ageist. I hate being a freshman, and by the time I’m a senior, I hate freshmen. I don’t hate all freshmen, but I hate freshman-ness, so there’s just no ways to fix the ways I would have found myself annoying. Because it’s just freshman annoying-ness. Like I was speaking out of turn or something.
A: So are you excited to graduate?
EL: No! Not by any means. I don’t have weekends for the rest of the semester, so I’m excited for getting the end of Wesleyan and having breaks, but no, I’m not by any means excited to graduate. I have no idea what I’m going to do.
A: Do you have any thoughts about where you want to be after Wesleyan?
EL: I want to go to LA and become a driver. And eat Mexican food. And have a career.
A: Career, tertiary?
EL: Yeah if I could just drive around eating Mexican food, that would be really fun. But jobs are good, too. I have a small life plan, I think, but I just forgot what it was. What? Did I say life plan? I meant lunch plan.
A: What’s the difference, really?
EL: There isn’t one for me currently. But I don’t even usually have a lunch plan. How could I have a life plan? …I was thinking about opening a restaurant at some point and I was going to call it “Current Location,” but that’s not my life goal. It was going to have to do with the film industry! I swear! …I’d like to have a house. I’d like to have a cat. Multiple.
A: How many cats?
EL: No more than two, I don’t think. Two’s a good number. Hopefully related. And probably a dog; probably not dogs.
A: One dog, two cats?
EL: Yeah, something like that. And a monkey.
A: What are you going to name your monkey?
EL: Kampuchean. Wouldn’t it be funny if it weren’t a Kampuchean monkey and I named him “Kampuchean”? Maybe I’ll name my dog “Sit.” “Sit, Sit!”
A: Is there anything else you wish I’d asked you or that you would like to add?
EL: My favorite film is “Spring Breakers,” and I want that in print.
This interview has been edited for length.