This past summer, I had both an internship and a job. I worked at a feminist film distribution company on Wednesdays and Thursdays and spent the other three workdays at a day camp. Each weekday, I wondered what was happening where I wasn’t: was I missing out on a screening or a visit from a filmmaker? Was one of the kids at camp being the you-had-to-be-there sort of hilarious or was there a parent creating drama?

Despite all that wondering, I never anticipated that I would come into work on a Friday after two days away and be informed that I had missed seeing a celebrity. And not just any celebrity, but one whose onscreen appearances make me twitch and melt simultaneously. I actually screamed when they cut to his adorable face at last year’s Oscar ceremony. He wrote and starred in one of my favorite movies, which I referenced in my last column. I just Google Image searched him and spent several minutes scrolling down and making cat-like noises. None of these clues are particularly helpful, are they? I can just tell you: I’m referring to none other than my future husband, Jason Segel.

I do not think I will ever get over the fact that I took a break from wrangling kids to be at my unpaid internship (read: perform slave labor/organize a filing cabinet) and missed out on meeting Jason Segel. My only consolation is that someday, a reasonable number of years from now, we can laugh about that missed connection, probably while drinking home-brews and watching the sunset on our private island of love. For now, I have been insisting that my not having seen him that day was for the best. For one thing, I think that our relationship will start out with Jason rescuing me from either a broken heart or a literal beast, like a really big cockroach. Additionally, I need some more time to figure out how I want to present myself when I do meet him.

I have a Facebook friend who is very open about her obsessions. She “likes” the fan pages of all the TV shows, movies, musicians, and books that she gets into. She has statuses and posts on her friends’ walls about her excitement over premieres and new releases of her favorites. She also has an extensive photo collection: over 3,500 pictures, and very many of them are of celebrities or of her with celebrities. This friend lives and goes to school in New York City and, when it comes to fueling her obsessions, she takes full advantage of where she lives. She meets her favorite stars at movie premieres, at press events, and outside their trailers (that one is a little creepy to me…and I have no idea how she knows where to find them). She seems to love everyone who has achieved any level of fame in the entertainment industry, and she gets pictures with each and every one of them.

What amazes me about this is not the time, money, and energy that she puts into meeting the people who make the media that she loves. I can definitely get behind seizing opportunities the way this lady does, and though a celebrity photo album wouldn’t be fulfilling for me, it is clearly something that makes her happy. What gets me about this situation is also why I need more time before I can comfortably meet and seduce Jason Segel—I am a very awkward person. When I click through these photo albums, I wonder what those encounters must have been like. Was there small talk? Was it just, “May I have a photo with you?”

For now, I am containing my celebrity obsessions to the Internet and flustered television watching. I must admit, I had a semi-long tabloid website phase, and though I am over that now, I do keep track of the lives of the people with which I am obsessed. Wikipedia-searching and interview-reading gives me a little bit too much insight into their lives, so I fear meeting a celebrity I am truly affected by (like my love, or Seth MacFarlane, on whom I had a debilitating crush on for more than two years in high school. Or Craig Ferguson, on whom I do not let myself have a true crush because I want him to be my mentor and feelings would make that complicated and messy). I think I would fall into a Facebook-stalking sort of trap if I ever really met a celebrity—awkwardly admitting to the star that I know everything about him or her from cyber searching.

There is something that I still need to address. Yes, I have been following the latest news in Jason Segel’s personal life. Yes, I know that he is with Michelle Williams. And that they are very much in love. And totally getting married. And he is great with her daughter. I have not been in the dark about this at all: why do you think he showed up to a children’s summer camp? As I have mentioned in a previous column, though, I have a serious level of commitment. I can and will wait for my freakishly tall prince to come, and when he does, I will have charming small-talk prepared.