In Defense Of: Bearded Fan Wants to Chill by the Fire and Eat Fondue with Justin Bieber
Last week, Brett Keating ’15 professed his love for Taylor Swift as if it were some sort of anomaly for a 19-year-old male to be fixated on a cute 22-year-old blonde girl with a guitar. It was probably just a thinly veiled attempt to tell everyone that he was captain of his high school baseball team and has a lot of cool posters. Either way, Keating, there are several reasons why you get strange looks from everyone, but being a Taylor Swift fan probably isn’t one of them.
However, nothing really gets you shunned more than being a “Belieber” with a beard. Not for long, though—our suffering shall pass.
The fact of the matter is, Justin Timberlake isn’t going to be making records any time soon, no matter how much I tweet at him. And with cinematic wonders like “Shrek the Third” and “The Love Guru” already under his belt, you can’t really blame him. And it’s okay to be sour grapes about the fact that JT doesn’t have any immediate plans to bring sexy back again, but don’t take it out on Bieber. At this point, if we want any more funky feelgood jams like “Señorita” and “Rock Your Body,” we’re going to start have to “beliebing” in another Justin, and recognizing that J-Biebs has got this. For proof, see his latest single, “Boyfriend.”
If you didn’t know already, Justin’s voice has matured quite a bit, and it seems that Justin’s smile charmed puberty enough that it didn’t cut his career short. Not only that, but Justin’s lyrical content is starting to get really hot and heavy, just like the cheese fondue he wants to eat with you by the fireplace (probably the best first date anyone could ask for). What’s more, Justin Bieber does you the favor of announcing he’s about to hit his falsetto and counts down to it—probably so you can get an extra pair of pants ready for when he gets into full-on, barely-PG-13 Seduction Mode.
The song itself truthfully isn’t miles away from any of his older work, but he’s a man now (sorta) and he’s starting to carve his own niche and make infectious songs that you will shame yourself for listening to—probably until he can grow some facial hair or until a sex scandal breaks out.
The fact of the matter is, The Biebs acknowledges he has his share of player haters. But he’s just going to keep winking and laughing at them until they’re Born-Again Beliebers in three to four years. Until then, he’s going to keep coming up with gems like New Word of the Year frontrunner candidate “Swaggy” and other potent quotables like, “I could be your Buzz Lightyear/fly across the globe.” Does Buzz Lightyear really fly across the globe? I don’t know, Toy Story 2 was sort of “eh” for me, but the point is, Justin is making you think about these things.
Bieber will continue to mature as his fanbase does, while pissing off a lot of people along the way just for the hell of it. But that’s what being swaggy is all about. All I’m saying is that Bieber deserves a fair shot; even JT had his cornrow and all-denim phase with N*SYNC. I really don’t think you can say that Young Bieber is trying that hard. In a post-JT world, Bieber is a shining beacon of hope for the world of pop music for years to come. And who knows, Brett? Maybe we could catch a T-Swift/J-Biebs dream tour together if that ever happens. Gonna end this article in three, two…