For this week’s edition of “Professor’s Playlist,” we Arts Editors are taking over for the professors to school you on the art of the love song. While we do have a handle on the arts (at least on campus), please keep in mind that we’re no Austin Powers—I’d take our advice with a grain of salt.
That said, here’s a list of love songs to play this Valentine’s Day for your special someone, or just yourself. I wouldn’t recommend sending it to someone you’re hoping will become your special someone, however; lyrics like “I will be there when you die” might give them the wrong idea (or lead them to call P-Safe—last month was National Stalking Awareness Month, after all).
Anyway, if you’re sick of traditional V-Day musical options, these off-beat love songs are right up your alley. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, they should brighten up your day. And if that doesn’t work, remember that this holiday is about greeting cards and chocolate, not love.
THE PLAYLIST
1. Magnetic Fields — “Absolutely Cuckoo.” Sample lyric: “And if you make a mistake / My heart will certainly break / I’ll have to jump in a lake / And all my friends will blame you.”
2. Kraftwerk — “Computer Love.” Sample lyric: “I call this number / For a data date / I don’t know what to do / I need a rendez-vous.”
3. My Morning Jacket – “I Will Be There When You Die.” Sample lyric: “As long as you keep a straight face / I will be there when you die.”
4. Prince – “If I Was Your Girlfriend.” Sample lyric: “We don’t have to make children to make love / And we don’t have to make love to have an orgasm.”
5. Ween —“Don’t Laugh (I Love You).” Sample lyric: “Ernest Hemingway would always be there for me / But now Ernest Hemingway is dead.”
6. Leonard Cohen —“I’m Your Man.” Sample lyric: “If you want a boxer / I’ll step into the ring for you / And if you want a doctor / I’ll examine every inch of you.”
7. The Jesus Lizard — “If You Had Lips.” Sample lyric: “Hey, shit mouth / I love you / I’ve never known anyone who bent so much to me.”
8. The Flaming Lips — “When You Smile.” Sample lyric: “When you smile / All of the subatomic pieces come together / And unfold themselves in a second.”
9. Grinderman — “No Pussy Blues.” Sample lyrics: “I sent her every type of flower / I played her a guitar by the hour / I petted her revolting little Chihuahua / But still, she just didn’t want to.”
10. Elvis Costello — “The Beat.” Sample lyrics: “I keep thinking about your mother / Oh, I don’t to lick them / I don’t wanna be your lover / I just wanna be your victim.”