Nicholas Quah (a.k.a. frostedmoose) is a famed Wesleying blogger, CSS major, self-described Professor Chenoweth monkey, and all-around self-loathing, esoteric badass. Quah is making the most of his time here in the States until the authorities send him back to his home country of Malaysia. He sat down with The Argus to discuss the meaning of life—and insult as many people as he could along the way.
Argus: Why do you think you should be a WesCeleb?
NQ: Because…well this is always the first question you ask, right?
A: Often times, yes.
NQ: Because whenever I read these WesCelebs I think, “Well, if that guy can be a WesCeleb, I can be a WesCeleb.” And also it’s the one thing that AJ “Big Bird” Hinds class of 2012 hasn’t done. I think in the answer to every question I’m going to holler at someone to piss off. Mitch Belkin.
A: Along those lines, what are you most embarrassed about during your time at Wes?
NQ: I have no sense of shame. So I have nothing.
A: Nothing?
NQ: Well, I don’t feel embarrassed about doing embarrassing things. I feel embarrassed doing things that are completely normal. Like you know, walking, talking…walking to work in the morning I feel very embarrassed sometimes. I’m not like Conner Larkin class of 2012 who’s able to walk despite how funny he looks and project a good sense of self. I am very aware of how I look and how I am and therefore I am embarrassed when I am doing things. But when I’m doing embarrassing things, I’m not embarrassed at all.
A: You work at Pi Cafe. I’ve always wondered—are there any gross things people do to the drinks in Pi, like in that movie?
NQ: Ah we make smoothies, that’s gross enough. Max Livingston class of 2012 you’re a jackass…
A: (laughs) I’m keeping these all in.
NQ: Please, please do.
A: Besides working at Pi, what else do you do on campus?
NQ: That’s such a broad question. Is that really how you ask questions?
A: I’m seeing in what direction you’re going to take it.
NQ: Well this just shows me you didn’t do that much research. I suppose the only reason why I’m here is one, because I’m your friend, and second of all because of being a Wesleying contributor.
A: Ah, so you’d like to take the question there. Well, as a Wesleying contributor, why the name frostedmoose?
NQ: It’s, you know, I’m trying not to be pretentious about this. You know how unicorns are sort of like, I forget which old, dead white man said this, but it’s sort of an abstraction that’s created when you take the concept of a horse and then think of something that has horns and it comes into confluence in your mind as a unicorn. I essentially was making a blog for my time studying abroad in Denmark, and I needed a name. And I’m not the kind of person who spends days thinking about how I’m going to choose to identify myself, so I was just watching the TV and I saw National Geographic and they had something on moose, or meese, as in the plural…
A: Really?
NQ: No, I just like to believe it’s meese. And then I was having a bowl of ice cream at the time and I was like, “Hey why not. Essentially.”
A: So what do you think of the Wesleying-Argus divide. Is it overdone?
NQ: There isn’t a divide, I think. We just do very different kind of reporting. The Argus these days is far from The Argus of the seventies. Or the eighties. Or what a prototypical college newspaper is supposed to be. It’s very sterile, but it is the mode of formal communication on campus. At Wesleying we are extremely informal and we do cover things in real time. And Zach Schonfeld, class of 2013, is adamant about the point that there is no divide. But the thing is, I think that Wesleying has the capacity to have consistent voices and character. If you’re a blogger who constantly blogs not just events but personal takes on matters, you can establish a narrative for yourself. But in The Argus it seems that you know it’s not really a true reflection of the writers themselves. You can never know a writer by reading their shit in The Argus, as it’s so banal in style. Justin Pottle class of 2013.
A: What’s your narrative?
NQ: Ah, no narrative. Don’t make me do a psychoanalysis of myself. I can’t. Not for the life of me I can’t.
A: When you first came to Wesleyan, what was your biggest shock?
NQ: Um, to be honest I didn’t really experience culture shock. I settled in here easily. The kind of shock I felt would probably be the same kind I’d feel anywhere, which would be growing pains. I mean it’s shocking, like oh fuck, but it’s the same I think for any American walking into college for the first time. Anwar Batte class of 2013, you’re a freaky motherfucker. Of course, I guess he’ll read this with like asterisks or whatever.
A: Where’s your favorite place on campus?
NQ: Kumail Akbar class of 2012 works a mean bryani. In terms of food, I think Klekolo. Amazing coffee, interesting characters. And I hear the girls over there at 5 Vine are very, very good cooks.
A: As a CSS major, are you pretentious, moderately pretentious, or super pretentious?
NQ: As a CSS major, I think that by nature of being in the major that implies a measure of pretentiousness. Um, I guess, I mean I naturally talk as if I am pretentious, and that’s just how I sound. And this answer is coming out sort of odd, because I can just tell that however I answer this question, whoever will be reading this will be like, “What a pretentious douche,” no matter how much I try to defend my pretension or lack of pretension. So I think this is a loaded question, and I’ll see you in court.
A: All right. Who is one of your favorite professors?
NQ: I work for a professor who researches terrorism-related things. I’m merely her coding monkey, who pushes buttons and tries not to get the room dirty. Professor Chenoweth, Erica Chenoweth, is an amazing, amazing human being, and I can only inspire to be like the little toe that comes out of her right leg because I am incapable of being whoever she is. Also, Aditi Shivaramakrishnan class of 2012, it’s spelled how it sounds, is the Singaporean Tina Fey. This I want you to definitely put in…
A: You’re writing a thesis. What’s that all about?
NQ: My thesis is on transhumanism; it’s this really strange thing I don’t want to explain out loud because I can’t quite do it justice in a paragraph—If I attempt to I’ll come off as extremely crazy or madly esoteric. But it’s about biomedical ethics, or more specifically on bioethics on medical technology. It’s got Hegel and shit in it, so I won’t say much else.
A: Why did you come to Wesleyan, of all places?
NQ: Why Wesleyan. Essentially, it was the only place that would take me in America and I didn’t want to go anywhere else because my other option would be law at King’s College but that would essentially be buying into a system that I wanted to get out of from a very early age. And I want you to put this in. I applied for the Freeman scholarship, was rejected from the Freeman scholarship, but I still came either way. At this point in time I would like to officially record that I hope they rue their decision in not giving me the scholarship, but no hard feelings either way, I just think that their choices have been very ill. [laughs]
A: Do you have any advice for new Wesleyan kids?
NQ: When you come here, feel free to be as idealistic and happy as you can. But do very quickly try and gain a bigger sense of perspective. That is to say, take a couple of steps back. Because this place is a bit more complex and screwed up then you think it is. And it behooves you to take account of this before it screws you over. Yep… hello President Roth. What’s up?
A: It’s your senior year. What do you want to do after Wes?
NQ: I’m trying very hard to stay in the States. I’m trying to apply to a couple of PhD programs in political science, to schools with a strong department in history of science and technology. If not, whatever job is friendly to internationals.
A: What are some of the things you’ve always wanted to do at school but haven’t yet had the chance?
NQ: Many things that my mother probably would not be proud of. But I’m staking up the list as we go, and I’m thinking of going full blast senior week. So if anybody’s on campus at that point, you’ll get your answer to this question then.