The 63rd Emmy Awards aired live from L.A.’s Nokia Theater on Sunday night, honoring the best of the best in the world of television. For those of you who were too busy finishing up last minute homework, here’s a recap of who won:
Outstanding Drama Series: “Mad Men”
Mad Men is becoming the Safeway meatloaf my parents forced me to eat every weekday for a while because mom didn’t feel like cooking and we couldn’t afford to go out. It beat newcomers Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones, but both have plenty of time to snag a win.
Outstanding Comedy Series: “Modern Family”
“Modern Family” wins this category for the second year in a row, and while I certainly wouldn’t call it undeserved, I would have liked to have seen a win this year for “Big Bang Theory,” if only to change up the game a bit.
Outstanding Actor, Drama: Kyle Chandler, “Friday Night Lights”
We all know some people who watch FNL, right? Good for them. Good old America. Good old American football. Bring back Walter White.
Outstanding Actress, Drama: Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
Wow, this won over Law and Order? Everybody loves Law and Order.
Outstanding Actor, Comedy: Jim Parsons, “Big Bang Theory”
If he hadn’t won, there would have be a thousand nerds justifiably up in arms. Parsons completely deserved this recognition of his nuanced performance of BBT’s quirky Sheldon.
Outstanding Actress, Comedy: Melissa McCarthy, “Mike & Molly”
Word on the street is that this award is a remuneration for long-overdue recognition for McCarthy’s beloved role of Sookie on “Gilmore Girls.”
Outstanding Supporting Actor, Drama: Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones”
For years, fans of the “Game of Thrones” books have been clamoring for an HBO series with Peter Dinklage as Tyrion. Now he has an Emmy. Because he is a beast of a man.
Outstanding Supporting Actress, Drama: Margo Martindale, “Justified”
Direct quote from Arts Editor Jessica Jordan’s mother, the only person we know who watches this show: “Timothy Olyphant (who plays Deputy Raylan Given in the show) is a very attractive man. He’s very good in the character. Some of the stuff they put in the show is very spot on for the South.”
Outstanding Supporting Actor, Comedy: Ty Burrell, “Modern Family”
I might not have picked out Burrell as the standout from the cast of MF, but the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences did. Not as depressing as if Chris Colfer from “Glee” or Jon Cryer from ‘Two And A Half Men” had won.
Outstanding Supporting Actress, Comedy: Julie Bowen, “Modern Family”
I think we get that “Modern Family” is awesome by now.
Guest Actor, Comedy: Justin Timberlake, “Saturday Night Live”
Now everyone will get bored of Justin Timberlake’s novelty act and he can get a real career. Or he will release “Dick in a Box 2.” Or wear more leotards.
Guest Actress, Comedy: Gwyneth Paltrow, “Glee”
Paltrow proved her singing skills are country strong. Her next award? Grammy, perhaps, so she can get rid of the inferiority complex that comes from being married to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin. Next up (SPOILER ALERT): watch her die in “Contagion.”
Outstanding Directing, Drama: Martin Scorsese, “Boardwalk Empire”
How many awards has Scorsese received? Bet that thing’s in a landfill somewhere already.