Alright. My favorite new show: “Modern Family.” Yours should be too. This show has everything people enjoy in comedies: family problems, middle-age crises, gay couples, stupid husbands, sexy Colombian women, sibling rivalry, and, of course, Asian babies. But more than replaying all the beloved standbys of comic television, it also gives the audience something else to look forward to on Wednesday nights. Each episode offers something different and new, centering on a cleverly written script. The writers develop lines that are completely original and purely hilarious, and I have to praise the actors for delivering them because I would NEVER be able to dish those lines out with a straight face.

Piloted on Sept. 23, 2009, “Modern Family” has gained critical success in only the few short months it’s been on air. The comedy has quickly become a frontrunner for the 2010 Primetime Emmy Awards and has been renewed for a second season! Amazing? Without a doubt! Hilarious? You bet! Surprise? HELL NO! This mockumentary comedy follows the lives of three generations: Jay Prichett (Ed O’Neill), his two kids, Claire Dunphy (Julie Brown) and Mitchell Pritchett (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), and their families. Claire is a homemaker with her husband and three children who works to keep order in her home, while Mitchell, a gay man, struggles to be accepted by his father, who has never come to terms with Mitchell’s lifestyle choices (which include a life partner and an adopted Vietnamese baby). This show instantly gained critical acclaim and has become a clear fan favorite, not only because of the Asian baby, but just because it’s nothing like the reality we live in.

Consider the Emmy Award winning television show “The Office.” It sucks. Yeah that’s right, I said it. IT SUCKS! Mainly because I feel like people just watch the show because they feel the mockumentary style of filming is the ‘in’ thing. Just like 3D in film, it is the hottest new trend in television, but that doesn’t always mean it’s a good idea. “The Office” gets lost in this style of filming, often detracting from the comic relief of the show. What really pisses me off is that you people can watch this show and say “it’s so wonderful” but then when it comes to watching “Cloverfield,” you’re a bunch of pussies and say it gives you a headache. Well, screw you, you pretentious bastards. The truth is, “The Office” isn’t that funny. Sure it has its moments, like in the episode “Gay Witch Hunt,” when Michael (Steve Carell) tries to show Oscar (Oscar Nunez) that he accepts his homosexuality and just ends up insulting him over and over, but so does every show. Let’s recall “Flava Flav.” Now look at “Modern Family.” Look back to “The Office.” Look back at “Modern Family.” If you can’t see the difference, then you are an idiot.

While “Modern Family” uses similar filming techniques to those of “The Office,” it does not get completely submerged in the mockumentary style. Instead, the families live their days as casually as possible, only acknowledging the camera when they are in private confessional segments, unlike “The Office” where every freaking episode has someone look at the camera to give a scornful look. EVERY episode. Beyond that, “Modern Family” is just funnier. For those religious “The Office” fans, wake the hell up and recognize that after Season 3 that show went down the crapper. “Modern Family” is fresh. The show possesses a quirky essence in the way it sums up the lives of a dysfunctional family.

For those of you who haven’t seen it, watch it. I’m pretty sure after several Idiot Boxes you can trust my judgment (shout out to Sue at Summerfields). And when you do watch it, keep an eye out for Sofía Vergara, who plays Gloria Prichett, the young, sultry Colombian wife of Jim. Honest to god (and I’m not only saying this because I’m a quarter Colombian) Gloria gets the best lines on the show. Between her and Mitchell’s partner, Cameron (Eric Stonstreet), the two just seem to steal the show. Gloria’s seductive appearance is something she is not modest about, yet she tends to show a more caring motherly side that steers her away from being typecast as a gold-digger. Still, she does have her out-bursting moments of insanity, “Ay, no!! You are not going to win this [chess] game. I’ll burn this house down!” And, of course, there is my personal favorite line from her this season, “I’m Colombian. I know a fake crime scene when I see one!” And you can’t miss out on Cameron, with his extravagant demeanor and his bleeding heart that seeks to help those in need. His bold actions always match the loudness of his words, such as his dramatic production to introduce his newly adopted daughter to the family, which included a spotlight on the baby, a dashiki, and the classic song Circle of Life.

However, trying to explain how amazing something is, is never enough. Mere words cannot describe the astounding achievement in primetime television that is “Modern Family.” So stop reading this and watch some TV, because this show is something not to be missed. And if you’re reading this sentence then you’ve clearly just ignored my directions.