I remember coming in as a lil’ freshman six months and seven weeks ago, wide eyed at the fact that parties don’t actually take place in your friend’s unfinished basement. I have to admit: I went a little overboard with the whole hooking up (whether it may be making out or sex) scene (which I feel is represented by this photo).
By the end of September I had lost count of my hook ups at twenty-five. I actually remember entering a house with the goal in mind to make out with every person inside (mission accomplished…). Clearly, I have no reservations with sex and my sexuality; I feel I should do whatever my body wants to do. This got me thinking about sex, and sexuality at Wesleyan.
I feel the Wesleyan social scene is known for its sex parties, naked parties, and parties involving porn and milk shakes. One thing I love about this school is that a lot of the events that are held are so open about sex and sexuality (and milkshakes). But as a second semester freshman, I know for a fact that I don’t have a true grasp of the sex and sexuality scene.
I do feel from my (limited) experience that a lot of the students here are very open and accepting of hooking up, relationships and alternate sexualities. I find it awesome that at many parties so many people are relaxed about two guys dancing together or huge grind trains. I have visited a lot of other colleges where these seemingly inconsequential events become a huge deal. For example, when I visited UConn over fall break I was at this party surrounded by obese bros, and girls whose fake tan made Snooki look like part of the Aryan race. I started to talk to this girl with a tongue ring, we will call her “Prudence.” Prudence drunkenly admitted to me that she really wished she could have sex with a girl, but she didn’t want to tell anyone at UConn. (Apparently those Sorority Sisters’ videos aren’t accurate.) In response, I immediately jumped right in, and starting to talk about bisexuality, the Kinsey scale, and Ziggy Stardust. Though we ended up hooking up (tongue rings are like a second tongue!), I felt assured that Prudence had the confidence in her sexuality to find someone or some place in which she could hook up with people who she wanted to hook up with.
While I was at Conn College, my boyfriend and I went to a dance party at the student center. We got bored and went to get some dumplings from the bustling café downstairs. While in this crowded café, we decided that it would be fun to have a three way kiss with our friend Estelle Getty (not her real name). I have performed such a kiss at Wesleyan many times whether at parties, or on Foss Hill. The only reactions I have received at Wesleyan were applause or nothing at all. However, at Conn, the entire café froze. If my life was a low budget teen movie, this scenario would be that scene where the music screeches to a stop, and crickets can be heard in the background. So I left Conn College pretty unscathed, however, three weeks later my wonderful hall mate brought her friend from Conn College. I sparked up conversation with her and told her my little Conn experience; she said to me in shock, “That was you? We are still talking about those Wesleyan kids who whored up our party.”
While I feel that many people whom I have interacted with here are very open and accepting with sex and sexuality, the things I have seen on the ACB are a little concerning. Though I shouldn’t judge everything that I read on the ACB, it was sad to see so many threads about who is slutty, easy, freaky, all used in a negative light. Now I hope that the authors of these threads are a small minority in our community, and hopefully not the type of people who claim to be tolerant. I really feel like no one should disrespect anyone based on his or her sexual behavior. I don’t think anyone has the right to judge someone on who they like and I feel that no punishments or shame should come from sex. Now, I admit I have seen things that I am uncomfortable with, but I quickly realize how close minded I am being and I have learned to accept many behaviors.
So in the lesson of English professor Ray J, next time you are at some party and you see someone you like just ask, “Sexy Can I?”
Yes sexy you can,
Dylan