The First Law of Internet Porn Relativity, a concept that has probably been theorized prior to this Wespeak, though not that I know of, states: “The act of theorizing any sexual act or fetish creates a website solely devoted to that sexual act or fetish.”

Now, here’s a list of things that I don’t like:

Razor/Power Scooters

The term “Bromance”

The WSA

Lolspeak

Rolling backpacks

Lunchables

Munging and foopalooting

Chicken pot pie “pizza” at Usdan that may or may not have something to do with the Chicken pot pie from last night

Stud earrings

Coke Zero

Anime

Gogurt

Miley Cyrus’ 9-year-old sister’s kid-sized lingerie line

SARS

Extremely loud gum chewing/chewers

That lipstick on your teeth

Explosive burkhas

The Ipad

Big hair

Glee