While I am one of the chief executives of The Wesleyan Argus International Media Group, I generally limit my interference with The Blargus to the occasional Rocktimist column. Today, however, I feel it is my duty to relate a discovery I recently made. Allow me to illustrate:
Kindly direct your gaze to rightwards, to the list of of most-read articles on The Blargus. You will notice that a certain article “The Carnal Cardinal: The Sex Party Sans The Sexy,” either at or near the top of the list. The only time that post has fallen from its lofty perch was earlier this week amidst a storm of furious Blarging and my friend and colleague, Gabe Lezra’s discovery of the magical key to infinite traffic (The secret is Twilight, naturally). I mean no insult to our own Lily Louise, as able a sex columnist as there ever was, when I say I was a bit perplexed as to why a two-month old article seems to draw so many pageviews. So I inquired with Eli Fox-Epstein, our lovely and talented online editor.
Eli explained to me that every day, a whole mess of people around the globe google the term “sex party” (or occasionally “sexy party” or “carnal party”). A few of them click through the results and settle upon the aforementioned column. Now I conducted a deeply unscientific study and discovered that this particular article is the third result for the search term “sex party,” beating out such Goliaths as Wikipedia, Partyhardcore.com, and a USA Today article in which Egyptian clerics denounced an upcoming Beyonce tour as an “insolent sex party.” We can’t put too much stock in these results, though. Google knows where you are, and it shows you results from ISPs located near your own. Consequently, we may never know who the visitors to “The Carnal Cardinal: The Sex Party Sans The Sexy,” are, how hard they worked to get there, or whether they were satisfied with what they found. We can only hope that these lost souls got where they needed to go.
Anyway, I hope you found this bit of meta-blarging enlightening. We will now return to our regularly scheduled blargs.