5. Shakespeare vs. Marlowe 

Marlowe didst protest too much, so Shakespeare had to launch a thousand ships on his ass.  Shit went down. 


4. Taylor Swift vs. Britney Spears

See Argus Feb. 13th, Vol CXLV, No. 5


3. Nirvana vs. Pearl Jam 

It all started with Kurt Cobain calling Eddie Vedder out for being a big sell-out and trying to cash in on the grunge explosion. Whether or not he was right, Nirvana is still really awesome, and Eddie Vedder still sounds like Scott Stapp from Creed.


2. Paris Hilton vs. Everyone

Paris Hilton’s very publicized feud with the entire world is one of the most entertaining parts of the last few millennia. 


1. Tupac vs. Biggie

This feud led to one of the best lines in all of rap: “You claim to be a playa, but I fucked your wife.” It also led to both of their deaths. And after a line like that, who could possibly be surprised?

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