5. Joan Crawford

Are wire hangers really that bad? Jesus.

4. Agamemnon

The dude sacrificed his daughter for favorable winds. And once he killed his kid and got his favorable winds, he sailed off to Troy, abandoning his other children for 10 years. And it’s not like he did anything worthwhile in that time. He spent 10 years raping, pillaging and getting in mean-spirited spats with his troops. We might judge him more harshly had his wife not murdered him at the banquet celebrating his return home. But we can’t really blame her either.

3. Sarah Palin

Ok, we’re not here to pass judgment on the hopefully-not-soon-to-be vice president’s child rearing. She isn’t responsible for her children’s decisions. But she is responsible for their names. Track? Trig? Bristol? That’s just cruel. They have to live with that for the rest of their lives. (Note: George Forman named all of his kids George Forman. Frank Zappa named his kids Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha, Rodan and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.. But they both get a pass for being awesome.)

2. Anakin Skywalker (a.k.a. Darth Vader)

The elder Skywalker was mean enough to his son. He cut off Luke’s hand! He delivered him as a prisoner to the Emperor Palpatine! He tried to blow up his spaceship on multiple occasions! But we often forget how terrible Vader was to his daughter (remember Leia?) He personally oversaw her torture. That’s just mean.

1. Woody Allen

Okay, we were originally going to put Jocasta (mother of Oedipus) on this list. But then we remembered that she didn’t intentionally marry her kid. But guess who did? We’ll give you one hint: It’s Woody Allen.

Honorable Mention: Macaulay Culkin’s parents in “Home Alone”

It’s pretty awful to forget about your child and then leave the continent. But what’s completely unforgivable is that they lost their kid two more times. Wouldn’t you learn to be vigilant after the first time?