To celebrate Earth Day, or Earth Week if one day isn’t enough to exercise your liberal guilt, some brand spankin’ new initiatives were put forth by businesses around the nation. The green initiative, getting as rampantly overused as the red conspiracy, yellow peril, or the chartreuse agenda (the worst of them all), has permeated and mutated into a slew of new conscious-clearing items for sale. After all, who can put a price on a soul enema like this? So get out there and pick up some fine Earth-friendly wares like these:

Glass origami lightbulbs

Keeping in line with the logic that the crazier the lightbulb shape the more energy it saves, new bulbs are being produced that should be more energy efficient and abstract arty than ever before. The simple (or not so simple) double helix coil or whatever it is has been replaced by the more aesthetically perplexing new line. The new designs include silhouettes of celebrities like Brad Pitt and Fatty Arbuckle, the Battle of Hastings (requires a full room to set up but lights up like a sun), and, of course, Optimus Prime.

Already composted food

To cut out the middle man of decomposition, food companies have taken to creating the ultimate in eco-friendly meals. Instead of harmful practices like processing the food and making it edible, various fruits, vegetables, and grains are now just being left in buckets in front lawns to properly ferment. Once deemed ready, they’re put in bark and twig containers and sold to you, the crafty consumer. Comes in three flavors: vegan, ultra-vegan, and douchebag.