Despite what you may have previously thought, Allie Levey is not just that guy who sings a lot of a cappella. He wants the world to know that he does other stuff, too. When he’s not singing, he dabbles in scaling the walls of MoCon and dressing like a woman. Also, he’s not gay. Just in case you were wondering.

Annalee: So you do a lot of things here and one of them is a cappella. You’re in the Spirits, yeah? Did you do a cappella before college?

Allie: I did, I was also in an all-male a cappella group in high school, which I wanted to continue here mostly because of my flaming homosexuality.

AP: Well, that’s the place to go! So tell me something funny about being in the Spirits. Maybe a hazing story?

AL: Well, I can’t…

AP: Come on, do it here! Running around in MoCon naked…

AL: Definitely happened. I am still in trouble for my freshman year SJB when I was being taken into the Spirits. I threw a water balloon off the roof of MoCon and hit a passing car and was promptly swooped down upon by Middletown Police and Public Safety. And a senior in the Spirits at the time, Nate Baumgart [’06], had to take the fall.

AP: Aww, that’s really sweet. So I also googled you…please don’t think I’m sketchy, uh, and you’re actually on Wikipedia!

AL: I’m on Wikipedia?

AP: Yeah, for The Vineyard Sounds.

AL: Okay, let it be known to all readers, I don’t always just sing a cappella. The Vineyard Sound is a professional singing group that I sang with on Martha’s Vineyard last summer that is just like, it’s the closest thing to a rock star I will ever be. We got stopped for photos and autographs. We did like six shows a week.

AP: Was it all old middle-aged women in pastels?

AL: No, no…well, somewhat. We were sponsored by the Vineyard Vines (a preppy clothier)…

AP: Yeah, I saw a lot of pastels in the Wikipedia picture.

AL: Our concert attire was shorts, pastel dress shirt, a tie, and sandals. I sold my soul a little bit….

AP: Uh, yeah.

AL:….but it was fuuun? I met a lot of celebrities. I met Archie and Payton Manning; I met Reese Witherspoon; I met John Belushi, Meg Ryan.

AP: Besides a cappella, you’re on the soccer team. I think this has something to do with soccer: apparently you’re one blow to the head away from being mentally handicapped? Tell me how this happened.

AL: Sophomore year I sustained a very, very bad concussion, followed by two afterwards. One, I wish I could say was done by doing something fierce, but really it was because someone tossed a beer and hit me in the face. I still have a scar. I’m the boy who lived!

AP: You’re just like Harry Potter!

AL: Yeah, and as a result, my entire life is just based on keeping people away from my head. I’m thinking about wearing a helmet.

AP: You’ll be the kid with the helmet! Walking around campus…in case you fall down…in case a random can of beer hits you. So you are also doing theater [“Big Love”] here this semester and you’re playing a transvestite. How’s it been straddling the gender binary?

AL: Oh well, it’s good ’cuz at theater rehearsal I’m told to explore my inner female, really delve into what it means to be a gay person. I have a monologue about Barbies. I’ve never played with Barbies. My sister dressed me up a lot as a child, I will admit that. And she always said she tried her hardest to make me gay, and I wanted to be a tap dancer for a while, so I had my chance.

AP: Have you had to wear heels and stockings?

AL: Not yet, but I think there’s gonna be some cross dressing and there’s gonna be some definite butt wavin’.

AP: Wow.

AL: Yeah. I have my own transvestite solo dance.

AP: Wow. We’ll look forward to that. Speaking of being a woman, so last year as a sophomore you lived with four junior girls and one of them said that when you got in trouble, they’d send you to your room, just like your mom used to do.

AL: Yeah, I mean, my mom had a bunch of parenting techniques and one of them was, as a child I used to bite people and when she’d be holding me, I’d bite her to get her to pay attention to me. And she one time got so fed up with it, she just said to me very calmly, “Alexander, if you want my attention, you can give me kisses, so don’t bite me.” And so, then I was just the weird kid kissing my mother all the time. And all other people who I wanted to get their attention, especially people who like, weren’t that close to the family. So I was that kid. I was a lover from the first.

AP: Tell me something people would be surprised to know about you.

AL: [Long pause] I’m not gay.

AP: What song captures the essence of who you are?

AL: “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” by the Offspring. No, that’s lame as shit. Uh…[after much thought] That song by Chumbawumba…

AP: “I Get Knocked Down”…by a beer can.

AL: Exactly.

AP: Last question, if the story of your life was made into a movie, who would play you—

AL: Jack Black.

AP: And what would be the name of the film?

AL: “Native Son (Jews).”