In the true style of the Argus, we’re celebrating a holiday a day late: happy President’s Day! And although you might be too hungover from your wacky celebrations last night – which indubitably included playing Presidents (or, as you Loyalist Torrie bastards call it, “Kings”) – it’s important that we all take this time to reflect on great President’s Day of year’s past.

1923: In a desperate bid for ratings, NBC resurrects both Abraham Lincoln and George Washington for the first ever edition of “Celebrity Boxing.” In the “Romp in the Swamp,” G-Dub gives Honest Abe a G-Drubbing.

1983: In one of the most heated moments of the Cold War, Ronald Reagan challenges Mikhail Gorbachev to a game of Crossfire with the fate of the world at stake. Unfortunately for the two global superpowers at the time, both leaders became extremely caught up in said game, playing to a draw over the course of three days.

1992: Everyone forgets about President’s Day. Bill Clinton, full of chagrin, spends the day boning fatties.

– Brendan, Brian, & Gelman