Every issue of Cosmogirl since the early 15th century there has been a section called “Cosmogirl Embarrassing Secrets.” These stories are composed by readers willing to reveal their most embarrassing stories to the readership composed of 13-year-old girls and 35-year-old men. Here are some of the more memorable juicy secrets that Cosmogirls, and men, couldn’t keep to themselves:
Biology Blunder
February 10, 2008
I’m standing at the front of my bio class giving this totes terrifying presentation on mitosis — and btdubs my crush is sitting in the front row — when in the middle of my speech I said “orgasm” instead of “organism!” All the boys in the class laughed at me! Now Tommy will never ask me to the prom. I’ll have to go with cousin, Jorge. Man, if anyone finds out this is Maria Garcia, I’ll be so embarassed!
Pool Party Pooper
January 15, 2008
So there’s this guy James that is totally cute and I have had a crush on him for like forever. My girls knew this and went behind my back to invite him to my pool party. I was so shocked when he showed up. I went up to him and just started talking. Things were going really well. My friends left me out at the pool alone with him and I went to kiss him. He seemed really into it and then I sharted! OMG! It was so embarrassing.
Ass-ass-ination
November 22, 1963
My husband and I decided to visit Dallas, Texas on vacation. Before we got there we agreed to participate in a parade. We thought it was a good idea at the time because it would generate money for the Democratic Party, and my husband barely won Texas four years ago. Once we arrived at the airport we were immediately instructed to board a Lincoln Continental convertible. We worried about safety, but the secret service people insisted it would be okay. Slowly, I became more comfortable with the situation. The people who lined the streets on the way to the Dallas Trade Mart seemed amicable. Everything became very calm as we turned the corner to the adjacent street.
I heard a loud pop that seemed to be coming from every direction. My head quickly whipped back to see that it was everywhere. It was horrible. I sharted.
Hide and Go Poop
February 3, 1945
My family is hiding in an old Amsterdam warehouse during the second World War because we are Jewish. Now that I have been arrested, all I can do is pray for other Jews that they will not shart while in hiding. I didn’t mean to do it and my family knows this, but I still feel really badly. The closet was quite cramped and my mother was in tears when she inhaled the smell of my flatulence. I still think that people are beautiful…even if they do shart.