Well, it’s that time of year again: that time of year when there’s a primary for the presidency of the United States. Now, whether you staunchly support the Whigs, or you’re just a complete Know-Nothing, there’s one thing we can all agree on: whatever Mitt Romney’s real name is, it’s gotta be better than Mitt. Even if his real name is Mitten. Seriously, President Mitt? Are you fucking kidding me? All he needs is a vice president named Oven, and that White House would really be able to handle the heat! Zingaroo!

– Brendan, Brian, & Gelman