Earlier this week I was at a loss as to what to write in this week’s column, and although this early onset of writer’s block is perhaps distressing, it was recently quelled by a gem of an e-mail that I received yesterday. I was informed that the one and only Wesleyan University graduate to testify at the Phil Spector murder trial would be appearing on campus TODAY. I’m talking, of course, about Michael Bay ’86. Bay is best known for writing several fiery Wespeaks about the chalking controversy a few years back, but he is also notable for directing “Armageddon,” “Pearl Harbor,” and “The Rock.” Yes, his films are considered pure mainstream money makers, and he is critically reviled by most big media critics, but there is actually a lot to respect in his career and his films. He has managed to work diversely in the franchise film context of current Hollywood—he’s only filmed one sequel—and it takes guts to stand up to the college of American film critics year after year. Most importantly, Michael Bay’s films are increasingly being identified as Michael Bay films, not as the newest in the series, or the remake of this or that. If it seems like I’m stretching to appreciate him, bear in mind that this is the type of praise that I would never grant Brett Ratner. Basically, the dumbest thing you can do today is not show up for “Transformers.” Simple enough?

TRANSFORMERS
USA. Dir: Michael Bay. 2007
FRIDAY, Oct. 5, 7:30 p.m. $4

Did I mention that Michael Bay is coming here TODAY to introduce the film? If you skipped the big block of text at the top of the page, you are a moron.

TOKYO STORY
Japan. Dir: Yasujiro Ozu. 1953
SATURDAY, Oct. 6, 7:30 p.m. Free!

Somehow not directed by Michael Bay, Ozu’s poignant drama is about what happens every time we go home. Filmed in a post-WWII Japan, the film is about an elderly couple who visit their children in Tokyo and confront the clash of two generations and the reality of their own approaching mortality. Ozu is one of the greatest and most consistent stylists in film history. It is impossible not to notice his formal approach when viewing his films, and it is perhaps even tougher to avoid discussion of his personal conception of space and camera placement in the analysis of his films. Tokyo Story is one of his most accessible, so grab your most pretentious friend and enjoy!

BLACK BOOK
Holland. Dir: Paul Verhoeven. 2006
WEDNESDAY, Oct. 10, 7:30 p.m. $4

Oh, is this the film for me. Paul Verhoeven is my one and only, my lover, my childhood companion. Le provocateur Verhoeven has made some of the most controversial mainstream American films in the last two decades. In the last three years we’ve managed to show the cream of his American contributions—“Total Recall,” “Showgirls,” and “Starship Troopers”—on the film series. “Black Book” is something different, though: a measured and exciting WWII film about a beautiful Jewish woman who joins the resistance in Holland and tries not to fall in love with a sexy SS officer. Much of the film is about self-preservation–one of her approaches is to dye her nether regions blonde–and the moral ambiguity of war on a personal level.

OFFSIDE
Iran. Dir: Jafar Panahi. 2006
THURSDAY, Oct. 11, 7:30 p.m.

The tagline of this film is: “In Iran all women are banned from men’s sporting events.” This is quite a statement, and it makes me think closely about President Ahmadinejad’s assertion that there are no homosexuals in Iran, but that is beside the point. “Offside” is about women attempting to attend a World Cup qualifying game by disguising themselves as men. Of course, everything goes awry, but the film does not resort to heavy-handed social politics. It’s lighthearted enough to make a point in an entertaining and personal way. The film is acclaimed in the world festival circuit, notably at the Berlin International Film Festival, but it remains unreleased in Iran. This is a great film to take us into fall break; don’t miss it.