Recently, New York City has been pushing for a ban on the you-know-what-I’m-talking-about-and-I’m-still-white-even-though-I’m-writing-and-not-actually-saying-it word that is in a sort of legal grey area. Because of free speech, an impossibility to police it, and it just generally being kind of silly, this ban has reached to be a sort of “gentleman’s law,” like an agreement featuring men of similar refinement, where essentially the city is saying, “please, don’t drop the n-bomb” and people are obliged to comply. This is a dramatic step forward in legal process, granting less-enforced and arguably dumb laws the ability to exist without enforcement or tangibility. Here are several others from history and the future:
The Don’t Kill Me Law: Implemented during the Hammurabi administration, this law essentially barred people from killing anyone claiming identity at the time. Considering that the civilization was barely cognizant of its own peckers at the time and the concept of the “I” had yet to be created, this law did not inhibit much murder.
Dudes Need to be at Least 5’7“ Law: You still see the tiny guys around? This one flew about as well as throwing a baby off a building with a sandbag attached to its umbilical cord.
Dudes Should be Less than 6’3”: Eat it, bitches! I fought the law and I won.
The Chalking Should Be Socially Beneficial As Well As Be Dangerous And Counter To The Administration, Not Regulated or Permitted By It, So Therefore All Idiots and Petitioners of Removing the Ban Should Be Tarred and Feathered Law: The petitioners really came out to repeal this one. And I had just gotten some nice goose down for the occasion…
Don’t Call After 10 p.m. Law: Generally considered a good idea, the National Council of Irritated Ex-Girlfriends called this law into existence such that if a guy kept pestering her with troubles and pleas, he would at least do so before the nightly news came on. The sunshine, it was argued, would help the conflicts resolve themselves.
The Rap Should Only Talk About How Hot/Fly/Capable of Selling a Mil Without Saying Anything on the Track You Are Law: This one’s new. I hope it retains its grounds. I want to see how this pans out.
The Give Dan Cerruti Five Dollars Law: I’m currently trying to establish this with the help of several prominent Washington folks (guess who’s got Mitt Romney in his pocket?). It’s going through the gentleman’s congress right now, and expect to be forking over some Lincoln’s sometime soon.