It’s that time of year again, when high schoolers put on their best obscure band t-shirt and Wesleyan students abet in underage substance abuse. But consider those poor prefrosh moms.

Like the majority of Wesleyan students, most prefrosh mothers believe that “pre-cum is sexy.” However, their opinons constrast greatly when considering, “Is anal sex a reality?” Only 29% say Yes, with the others firmly holding that it is just a social construct.

To those non-believers- next time you’re at Blockbuster about to rent “Bridget Jones’ Diary”, “Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason”, or “Alien vs. Predator”, I implore you, check out “Backdoor Banging Sluts 7”. Maybe it’ll open your eyes.

Brendan