Known throughout its long and prosperous history for breaking cultural and social boundaries with students from a wide array of backgrounds, Wesleyan University has set the bar once again. Surprisingly enough, it has been set by DKE for recently accepting our first student ever from the Pleistocene Era.

Peking Man, or “Pete” to some, was quick to adapt to the fast-paced lifestyle of the fraternity. “He’s just like the rest of us,” said one exceptionally sweet chill bro. “He grunts occasionally during conversation with women, has a wide array of clubs for bar night, and begins to hoot and howl whenever a match is lit in his face.” The brother later commented on the fraternity’s initial hesitation to accept the student upon hearing that he was a homo erectus. DKE, as we all know, follows a strict “no homo” policy.

“Yea, Pete’s a great guy man,” said one student, “He’s really evolved into his own since he’s gotten here. He’s made some friends outside of the frat, joined Prometheus because he says he knew the guy, and even made a name for himself at campus dance parties for his flawless krumping. He even set a recent record for being the first football player to ever score a touchdown!”

Unsurprisingly, Pete has been quite a hit with the ladies, but has recently been inseparable from his new girlfriend Lucy. After having met at an impromptu dance-off in a WestCo bathroom, the couple has been in love ever since.

“He’s just so in touch with who he is and the people around him,” an enamored Lucy exclaimed. “Like when I asked him what he thought of my friends down the hall, he said ‘Me like everyone!’ I mean, he’s just so sensitive! Oh and also, he has a huge caveman dick and fucks like Hercules.”