Dear Argus Staff,

Though I found your April Fools edition mildly amusing, I found myself horrified by two statements your staff included in their articles. The first falls smack on the front, stating: “The girls here make social statements out of refusing to get bikini waxes, so let’s not encourage them to wear thongs.” Though this remark is framed as a quote from Jolie-Pitt, it is included in the article with no supplement. Anyone’s choice to shave or not shave is hir own. How is body hair on a woman any more disgusting than body hair on a man? Why don’t all you men who so easily mock women for not shaving their bikinis try it out? I’m serious. I promise you’ll never do it again.

The second quote is not even meant as a joke. It is a blatant reflection of the transphobia and ignorance so commonly seen in The Argus. The article entitled “A Million Sperm” refers to “transgender women who identify as males.” So you are talking about those crazy trannys who may go around saying they are men, but oh wait, no, they are women. Just kidding. One’s identity is their gender. One’s sex is what? One chromosomal difference on one DNA strand? Plus or minus an SRY gene. And then plus or minus a DAX 1 gene. And then within that there is so much fluidity. But anyway the point is that gender and biology are not the same. Someone who is biologically female can very well be a man.

So if you’re going to pretend to present the opinions of the students, maybe you should at least pretend that they aren’t transphobic, ignorant, and sexist. And, yes, I know this was supposed to be a joke. But you weren’t joking about your anti-female and anti-trans remarks. I just read through your bullshit.