Editor’s note

The following is a 77 page Ampersand outlining our strategy to be elected in 2008. Under no circumstance should these pages be leaked to a local college newspaper.

We hope to make some bad puns while undertaking some extreme programs to set us apart from our opponents. The following will surely set our campaign ablaze:

– Set money on fire to teach students about the dangers of fires on campus.
– Set animals on fire to teach students about the dangers of pets on campus.
– Set polar ice caps on fire to teach students about the dangers of Global Warming on campus.

See you at the polls,
Brendan