Democratic nominee and former NFL quarterback Heath Shuler is challenging Charles Taylor, a Republican representative for North Carolina since 1991, for a spot in Washington this year. I recently asked the two candidates to discuss the issues.

Taylor: Does anyone remember what happened last time Shuler was in Washington? The Redskins sucked more dick than Ted Haggard. His career completion percentage was 49.2, an unfit completion percentage for any congressman. He threw more than twice as many interceptions as touchdowns. And in his final NFL season, in New Orleans, he did more damage than Katrina, throwing for two touchdowns and 14 interceptions in 1997. That’s not leadership, it’s homosexuality. Does North Carolina want a gay, uncircumcised congressman who performs abortions in his free time? I think not. So vote for Shuler if you want America to get sacked. Or if you’re gay. Otherwise vote for me.

Shuler: I may have had pretty bad statistics in the NFL, but Taylor was never even drafted by an NFL team. The man can’t throw for more than ten yards. And he’s a Republican congressman, so he’s probably banging a page.