Platform: Being seminally humorous; annoying hippies and activists; high-double digit-wieners; impressive understanding of all things you don’t get; old-timey measurement systems; anti-Semitism

Bio: Originally the arts page; transmuted into endless hilarity thanks to Yankee ingenuity and black magic

Slogan: “Spreading Our Love Faster Than, or at Least About as Fast as, Our Herpes”

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Nat and Gelman