It’s spring at last. There’s no better time, not even at the beginning of the year, to sit out on your porch, roof, or porch-roof if you’re in Beta and check out the eye-candy strutting their stuff on the sidewalks of M-town. Of course, the most important question of all is what music to blast as you soak up the sun, the fun, and the tight, tan buns. Here are some sweet-ass suggestions.

Kansas, “Carry On Wayward Son”: Also known as “Carry On,” “Wayward Son,” “Carry On My Wayward Son,” “My Wayward Son,” and “Carry On My,” this 1976 rocker has, like, four guitar solos. Nothing says spring like guitar solos.

The Cult, “Sun King”: About the sun, more obscure than Journey, and more “YAY-uhs” per minute than anything by the Darkness (who are gay).

Van Morrison, “Brown-Eyed Girl”: Perfect for hitting on brown-eyed babes. Perfect for drunk sing-alongs. Hell, you could even break out that guitar you haven’t played since high school and hash this bad boy out. Come on, you know you want to. Here, have another drink. Seriously, I’ll sing along with you. I promise.

Franz Liszt, “Piano Sonata in B Minor”: Nothing, with the possible exception of guitar solos, says spring like the contextual transfiguration of a small number of motivic units within the metanarrative superstructure of a concurrent homage to and deconstruction of a revered classical formula.

AC/DC, “Back in Black”: If you see some techie out in the sun wearing black instead of pink, light pink, salmon, or madras, this is a good song to keep you pumped with irony while you kick his ass.

Weezer, “Hash Pipe”: As we all know, the best thing to listen to while doing drugs is songs about doing drugs, ideally doing the drug you’re currently doing. Blast this tune while smoking a bowl, or, for more ironic fun, beating up a techie.

Jay-Z, “99 Problems”: A techie won’t be one if you do like I did this one time, and put him in a trash can and roll him down a hill, preferably Foss Hill.

Aerosmith, “Mama Kin”: I love beating up techies. Sometimes I get drunk and do it, which is pretty wild, but a lot of the time I do it sober because you get better fist control.

The Black Crowes, “Too Hot to Handle”: I hate techies.