– Change facebook birthday every day, demand cake
– Attend dumpster diving workshop, wait for activists to jump in, the- steal their point-swolle- IDs from those huge black bike messenger bags
– Hunter-gathering
– Candy from babies (while i’m there: strained peas, breastmilk, child support checks)
– Catch the gastro. Bonus: lose 10 pounds
– Find Weshop security camera blind spot, subsist o- chocolate-toffee covered pretzels i- bulk
– Bats
– Leftover matzoh
– Wi- exactly third place i- WesIdol competitio- by singing Sixpence None the Richer’s “Kiss Me” two notches less perfect tha- usual
– Hold up the Cold Stone
– Blowjobs
– Other kinds of jobs
– Become Doug Bennet’s royal food taster
– I bet if I become a Scientologist they will feed me
– Cocaine
– Heroin
– Get a boyfriend

Lollipop ideas:
– the bank
– barbershops
– abortion clinic
– fill out more room selection comment cards