Jess Lane is a pathetic spinster and she'll die alone... unless you enter our contest!

Win a date with Amper babe Jess Lane (or Gelman, if you like Jews who are dudes)! For serious!

Just email a photo of a correctly-drawn ampersand on your chest or ass and you'll be a winner!

…or at least a loser with one date to your name.

send photos by Saturday evening to jpatlak@wes

This article was posted in the print edition as part of the Wesleyan Argus Ampersand. It is satire and should not be construed as fact.