Kwanzaa is right around the corner, and you may be asking yourself “How do I celebrate Kwanzaa? It seems really hard. Also, I’m white.” Well, don’t you worry about it. Kwanzaa is not as hard as one may think. Here are a few quick tips on how you can have a truly kick-ass Kwanzaa. And I promise the rest of the white people won’t look at you funny.

Go to a New Year’s party—Did you know that New Year’s Eve is during Kwanzaa? It’s true! You can get so drunk, you’ll forget that Kwanzaa exists. Also, drinking is fun. So get on board, and drink—for Kwanzaa!

Return Christmas Gifts—Kwanzaa was conveniently placed right after Christmas so we can celebrate by returning that purple sweater with the teddy bear on it that grandma gave you. Just remember not to get Kwanzaa store credit, because it expires after Kwanzaa is over.

Start a Fight—Did someone just cut in front of you in line? Are you pissed about it? Take the opportunity to beat the shit out of them, because it’s Kwanzaa, and you can’t be arrested for assault during Kwanzaa (Note: Most officers of the law are not aware of this fact. You will have to explain it to them before they attempt to cuff you.)

Dance Party—Participate in the revered tradition of Kwanzaa dance parties. Invite your friends, their friends, and some random people to your house for an epic dance party. Play traditional Kwanzaa songs like “In Da Club” and “Get Low” while grinding some girl’s ass.

Create your own holiday—Everyone has a holiday they wish existed, whether it be “National Nap Week”, “Watch Cartoons In Your PJs Day”, or “Weedmas”. Well, if you can find a group of like-minded people and hire some lobbyists, in 40 years we could be treating your faux-holiday as if it were real.