Dear Diary,

My mom never went to college. This weekend I promised her I’d show her what college is really like. I think she was pretty impressed.

We went out for dinner in Middletown. She was amazed at all of the fancy foods there were to eat at McConoughy Dining Hall. On the way out she put three bagels, five apples, and some breadsticks in her purse.

She stayed overnight in the spare room of our senior wood-frame house on Home Ave. She was really pleased with the place. She hadn’t been in a home with more than three rooms since she moved out of her parent’s house. I told her she could come and live here when she gets evicted next month.

On Saturday afternoon I brought her to WesShop. I used my points and bought a week’s worth of vegan, organic food so that she could feed my eight year-old brother for at least another week. She commented that my WesCard works just like her FoodStamps card, only no one looked at me funny when I used mine.

That night, I took her to the Gag Reflex Comedy show at Westco Café. Afterwards she asked me if Seth Samuels was single.

My mom really wanted to take in the full college experience, so I took her to a party at 184 Wash. She had a really good time, and she only drinks Dubra anyway, so she felt right at home. She sang along with all the songs they played, like stuff by Prince, The Cure, the Talking Heads, David Bowie, The Clash and “Golddigger”.

I think that my mom drank too much though, because by the end of the night I couldn’t find her. I was a little drunk too so I just assumed that she got really sad because her boyfriend just broke up with her, so she left early and took the ride home alone. The next morning, I woke up in some guy’s Lo Rise and when I went downstairs I found that my mom had broken into the apartment and was stealing their x-Box.

Maybe it was a sacrifice on my part to have to entertain my mother for three days, but I’m just glad that my little brother is going to have an exciting Christmas; I’m going to get him Halo 2 with X-Box live.