(For when you make a mistake. Check boxes as needed)

Dear (Sir/Madam/None of the above):

I’m very sorry I:

_ (Was/Wasn’t) a transphobic holocaust denier
_ Heard you have cancer
_ (Did/Didn’t) call you by a gender neutral pronoun this morning
_ Interrupted you having sex in the stacks
_ (Did/Didn’t) feel guilty about being upper middle-class
_ Made you listen to a capella
_ (Was/Wasn’t) the direct cause of 9/11
_ Made you look

This was wrong because:

_ Fascism is never funny
_ (No one/Everyone) cares about my genitalia
_ A small vocal group of people insist it is
_ Avian bird flu has killed more than 60 people in South East Asia
_ My tone was not (ironic/sincere) enough
_ You could have hurt yourself looking that fast

In the future I promise to:

_ Read Malcolm X and think very hard about what I’ve done
_ Educate others about the transphobic holocaust
_ Learn to express my anger in incoherent Wespeaks
_ Like more bands that no one has ever heard of
_ Agree to your tyranny of the minority
_ Go to Vespers
_ Made you look again! You are so gullible!!!

(Sincerely/Up yours/I can’t believe you fell for it again!!!),

Your Name