In light of recent events, here is a list of why the Film Series dwarfs other options on campus (greatest hits):
—The Film Series offers a truly eclectic selection. We offer programming that you both have and haven’t heard of, which appeal to a wide variety of interests.
—When a film is on the calendar, it plays. No cancellations. If the film burns (which looks pretty badass), the show goes on. If a film is unable to continue, which has never happened, we offer a full refund and a hearty apology.
—The floor is less sticky. The theater is very clean. Good air quality. An allergy safe-space.
—There is no pressure of any kind to be anybody but you. You can even pick your nose if you want, it’s pretty dark.
—If you fall asleep/pass out, that is your prerogative. We won’t molest you.
—Movies make people fall in love, not lust. Well, sometimes both.
—Four days a week. Every week. Boo yah.
9/23 FRIDAY. OLDBOY. 8 p.m.
“The Count of Monte Cristo” meets “Audition” in this sadistic masterpiece from South Korean director Park Chan-Wook. Martial arts. Guns. Revenge. Pathos. One dude kills two other dudes with a toothbrush. Something for everybody. Start frothing at the mouth. If you don’t come see this, it would be wise to avert your eyes any time you see me. At least more so than usual.
9/24. SATURDAY. LENNY. 8 p.m. FREE.
If anybody deserves the full biopic treatment it is Lenny Bruce. Equal parts comedian, social revolutionary, and drug/sex addict, Bruce is an American icon (Voted #3 in Comedy Central’s “Greatest Standup Comedians of All Time.” Bob Fosse (Cabaret) makes it happen, aided by a vintage Dustin Hoffman performance.
Think you’ve seen daring stand-up comedy? Lenny Bruce makes The Aristocrats seem like the Rugrats. I do stand-up, and I wish my balls were 1/10 the circumference of his.
9/24 SATURDAY MIDNIGHT MOVIE: SHOWGIRLS. 12 a.m.
“Showgirls” rated NC-17, no prefrosh allowed!
What is the Midnight Movie all about? Flouting conventions foisted on you by a fiendishly prude society. Casting off your chaste chains. Embracing the deviance. Exercising your god-given right to slum. You attend a Midnight Movie, you instantly gain street cred (we will be making a cache list at the door).
The Film Series has not shown a Midnight Movie in years…until now. “Showgirls” warrants the after hours treatment. The “Citizen Kane” of gutter trash. The “Casablanca” of smut. Art?! Methinks yes.
Nobody wields the mace of Hollywood excess with more captivating results than Paul Verhoeven (“Basic Instinct,” “Total Recall,” “Robocop,” “Starship Troopers”). Remember when Sharon Stone granted us a peek behind her meat curtains? Mere child’s play. “Showgirls” lays bare the seamy underbelly of Vegas (who knew?): prostitution, lesbianism and The Cheetah Club, where women are fast.
Elizabeth Berkeley (“Saved by the Bell”), in a career-ending performance as a stripper with a heart of sex, acts out all of Screech’s masturbatory fantasies and then some. She gives David Lynch vet Kyle MacLachlan a lap dance for the ages (Clean up in aisle graphic, please). Then MacLachlan explores her twin peaks in a swimming pool. And one musn’t forget the best pole-licking scene since A Christmas Story.
When “Showgirls” came out, The Washington Post said: “This film is just a coarser, dumber, smuttier remake of ‘Flashdance.’” Damn right it is! This is what the Film Series is all about. Rescuing a film reviled by critics and entering it into the cult canon. No need to sneak a copy out of the video store; we have put it up on the big screen for you.
Also: boobies.
*There probably will not be any live strippers present at Saturday’s screening. But bring your poles and a few dollar bills just in case. Mops will be provided for any accidents.
9/28 WEDNESDAY BORN INTO BROTHELS. 8 p.m. FREE.
What if somebody called your mother a whore… and it was true?! No, that is not what this documentary is about. It is about if your mother was a whore, your grandmother was a whore, and once you hit puberty, you would be too. And there’s no way out.
Last year’s most harrowing documentary, filmed in the red light district of Calcutta, illustrates how indomitable spirit can surmount the most ghastly of obstacles. Given cameras of their own, the young children of Calcutta prove themselves diamonds in the rough: rendering their squalid lives with heart-shattering beauty.
“Brothels” won the Academy Award for Best Documentary (feature) against some fierce competition (“Story of a Weeping Camel,” “Tupac: Resurrection” and “Super Size Me,” by that guy whose name everybody has forgotten). Not even the Academy could ignore a documentary of such artistic merit that has also made a tangible difference in the lives of its subjects.
9/29 THURSDAY A BEAUTIFUL MADNESS. 8pm. FREE.
Saw “A Beautiful Mind”? Knew it was about as factual as a White House press release? Zing! Discover the truth in Mark Samel’s documentary about the loony but brilliant mathematician John Nash. Following the film, there will be a panel discussion with producer Randy MacLowry, Columbia Professor Dave Bayer and Haverford Professor Lynne Butler. Preceding the film will be a screening of Ron Howard’s “A Beautiful Mind.”