The hard-hitting editorial staff of the Ampersand has discovered astonishing pictorial evidence of a little-known loophole in the American judicial system. According to very secret sources, there exist special regulations for what are known among very secret lawmakers as “Daylight Savings Crimes.” Allow us to explain: It’s a well-known fact that when autumn rolls around, it’s time to turn back the clocks so that our crippling depression may be exacerbated by ever-lengthening evening shadows. When 2 a.m. rolls around, the nation’s clocks are set back to 1 a.m. (except in New Mexico, wtf). But what happens to that lost hour? In fact, the U.S. government says all crimes committed between this first 1-to-2 a.m. period never actually happened.

Never ones to pass up a sweet opportunity, two enterprising Ampersand staffers took advantage of the Daylight Savings Crimes loophole to try out some of Connecticut’s wackiest laws. A sampling of these humorously outdated rules:

•In Connecticut, it is illegal to cross a road on one’s hands.

•In Connecticut, it is illegal to use a white cane unless one is blind.

•Under Connecticut law, a pickle is only a pickle if it bounces.