A MIGHTY WIND STUFFING

3 cup cubed Waiting for Guffman
6 quarts Spinal Tap broth
3 bad folk bands
1 stick butter
salt and pepper (to taste)
day old bread

Combine the Guffman and the Spinal Tap in a bowl and mix with your hands. Sift in the folk bands. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add the remaining ingredients. Bake for 91 minutes. Rate PG-13 for sex-related humor. Serve on a platter in the CFA Cinema on Friday and Saturday at 7:30 and 10 p.m. Serve for three dollars.

DO THE RIGHT THING PIZZA

1 cup grated John Turturro
one roasted Spike Lee joint
4 sliced Samuel L. Jacksons
Danny Aiello dough

Mush up all the Danny Aiello until it gets very thin (this may take a while). Toss it in the air until you’ve formed a nice thin crust shape. Sprinkle the Turturro and Jackson on and cover with some of the Spike Lee. Put in an oven in Brooklyn on the hottest day of the summer. Enjoy for free in the science center on Friday at 7:30 and 10 p.m.

THE CRIME OF MONSIEUR LANGE FONDUE

1 French chef
a telephone

Make reservations at a fine French restaurant. I recommend Restaurant Du Village in Chester, CT. Go there and eat well. Then go see this classic by Jean Renoir. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE FRENCH FOOD ON YOUR OWN. You will fail. But if you do, attempt at 7:30 and 10 p.m. on Saturday. It won’t cost you anything, but you’ll have to eat in the Science Center.

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Bon Gusto!!!!!!!!!!