Ben Carman

10 Articles

Death Match: Iron Chef

There’s nothing more exciting to watch on TV than chefs going head-to-head-to-clock.

Universal Laws of Internet Porn Relativity

2. It need not be possible to theorize a sexual act or fetish for an anime porn site to exist that is dedicated to it.

Blargus Video Death Match

Troll 2 VS. Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

Death Match: The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club is one of the defining movies of a generation.

Top 10 Overblown Epidemics That Might Actually Kill All Of Us Someday

In light of the recent controversy surrounding one of our more prolific writers and face of Swine Flu on campus, it’s the least we can do to bring to light other terrifying epidemics that have been created either by the media or by super-villains.

Death Match: Football

Football is a symbol of American exceptionalism.

Still no H1N1

There seems to have been some confusion recently, and I just wanted to clear the air again. I still do NOT have swine flu.

Death Match: Neo

Let’s get this straight. Take a look at Neo and Luke Skywalker standing next to one another, and it’s very clear which one is “The One,” and which one is a pansy.

Death Match: Shaq

Few athletes have tasted the super-duper-ridiculously-crazy amount of stardom of Shaquille O’Neal.

Death Match: Biggie Smalls

Before I begin, I’d like to congratulate the Arts editor of the Argus on the brilliant pickup of someone who I hold in the highest esteem: myself.