That’s the ticket: Psafe fines cars parked in woodframe driveways

Many seniors are feeling less at home in their woodframe houses recently, after Public Safety (PSafe) issued a number of $20 tickets to students who had parked unregistered vehicles in driveways. Unregistered cars that were parked on the street, which is under the jurisdiction of Middletown police, were not ticketed.

Traverse Square shootings raise concerns across Middletown

One man was injured in a shooting in the Traverse Square housing development last Friday around 11:15 p.m. The victim, Brian Lamont Hurst, 27, was shot outside of unit 23, where he lives.

NYT shortage brings value into question

Despite its popularity, the funding of The New York Times Readership Program has been an issue on the Wesleyan Student Assembly (WSA) agenda since the beginning of the year. Public attention returned to the issue several weeks ago when papers were not delivered on three separate days over a two-week span due to discontinued publication at one of The New York Times' printing sites.

Slips through the night

Seniors woke up last Tuesday morning to find pink slips wedged between the doors of their cars, like presents waiting under the tree on Christmas morning. Happy holidays from Public Safety!

"Dining FAQs": USLAC responds

We appreciate the attention BA and the administration have paid to students' concerns, and we thank them for answering those concerns in meetings with the WSA and through the Dining Services Frequently Asked Questions on the Wesleyan website. However, workers on campus and the United Student-Labor Action Coalition disagree with some of the assertions that have been made.

Notice to actors: please don’t die!

First of all, I have to confess that it made me a little giddy to see Randa Tawil and Zeeba Khalili's critique of my critique (and by official "members of the theatre community," no less!). It was all so 'meta' and exciting that I decided to write a critique of their critique of my critique. To clarify: press previews are critiques, rather than propaganda.

Clarify Wongs

Dear Wesleyan Community, In Friday’s issue of the Argus, there was an article about the Wesleyan Republicans that mentioned their president: Eugene Wong ’09. I would just like to take a moment to say that Eugene Wong does not speak for the rest of the Wong’s on campus. While Eugene Wong is a Republican, he is not representative of the students here who share a last name with him, but nothing else.

Parties on Fountain, parties on Vine, all shut down, if over 25

The debate over a controversial policy that intends to limit large parties in woodframe houses will continue this Thursday, when Wesleyan Student Assembly (WSA) representative Michael Pernick '10 and Student Activities and Leadership Development Director Tim Shiner meet at a Student Affairs Committee (SAC) meeting.

Transferable skills: the transfer students’ experience at Wes

The first year of college is filled with orientation hook-ups, fake friendships and meeting 29 new people every day. For some, however, this unique experience occurs more than once.

Emdashes: Pressed for freedom of the press

One year ago almost to the day, the Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaya was found slain in her apartment building in Moscow, shot through the head. For years, Politkovskaya's hard-hitting investigative reporting had told stories of the brutality and corruption of Russia's 'dirty war' in Chechnya that most of the international media had ceased to write about. Through arrests, death threats, and a near-poisoning—and in a media increasingly controlled by the state and its oligarchs—the unflinching Politkovskaya never slowed down.

The Greasiest Spoon: Scaling Mt. Olympos: Visiting an endangered Meriden diner

There are many ways one might describe Meriden's Olympos Diner: old-fashioned and comfortably down-home are some of the first to come to mind. But sit for a bit amidst the vintage decor, talk to the customers and the owner, and the most significant descriptor will present itself: the 75-year-old eatery is, as of this year, a limited time offer.

F.Y.I. Mark your calendars!

The Robert Schumann Lecture Series in The Environmental Studies Certificate Program will have a variety of new events this October. Kicking off on Thursday, October 18, at 8 p.m. in PAC001, Wesleyan University, the Long Lane Farm Club will show an Agricultural Film entitled "Future of Food".

Students of Wesleyan: I am sorry I stole your laptops

My dear students of Wesleyan University, It was I who snuck into your rooms late in the night and stole your laptops. But please, before passing judgment, hear my story. This autumn’s lasting heat has brought bad tidings for my family. Dressed in furs as is our custom, we perspire heavily. The eternal drip of sweat from my darling wife Sonya’s brow has caused her great distress and rekindled painful memories of her past. She now spends her days sitting listlessly in the drawing room, twirling in her fingers the frayed hair ribbon of her long-gone childhood friend, Natasha.

The Telltale Colon: A frigid tale of harrowing intestinal trauma

True! — nervous — very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? I am not mad, not in the slightest. The consumption of WOW! Potato Chips has sharpened my taste buds — not destroyed them — not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute, I heard all things from the internal expulsion of gases to the external explosions from the bowels of hell. How then am I mad? Hearken! And observe the lack of fat in my diet and low blood cholesterol.

Editor’s Note written in style of 1920s newsroom editor

[For best effect, read note aloud in the style of a 1920s newsreel narrator] Listen here chief, I got a story. Story that'll knock your socks off. This story's big. Big as the Chrysler Building I tell ya. I'm going right to the horse's mouth with this one. We're going to Washington; Seattle, Washington that is. Big things there, big things. They got Negroes voting I tell ya, in plain daylight, it's crazy stuff!

An opening speech to the world of Wesleyan from the new Dean

I celebrate my senses, making the sex of the universe a tangible touch to my man-hands. i was selected before i was born out of my mother, generations made me proud long before i arrived.

Introducing the Ampersand reverse caption contest

Want your name forever linked with the likes of Charles M. Schulz, James Thurber, or even Bill Keane of "Family Circus" fame? Think it's impossible? Think that just because your mom was a crystal meth addict when she was pregnant with you that you can't accomplish anything?

Men’s crew off to powerful start last Sunday

The men's crew team began their season with a strong showing at the Head of the Housatonic on Saturday, claiming 1st, 4th, 9th and 14th places. Fourteen boats competed in the men's collegiate eight competition.

Women’s soccer halts losing skid

On an unseasonably warm and humid Saturday afternoon, the women's soccer teams from Wesleyan and Colby College were forced to fight the elements, and ultimately it was the Cards that came out on top with more energy and endurance.

Volleyball squashes Bantams

The volleyball team was victorious on Friday night with a 3-0 home win against Trinity. The team is now 13-3 overall with eight games remaining and is therefore guaranteed to finish with a winning record for the third consecutive year. The win improved the Cardinals' NESCAC record to 4-1. Wesleyan is now tied with Connecticut College for third in the conference.

XCountry runs ’ballsy race’

The men's and women's cross country teams struggled this past weekend at the New England Open. The men finished 23rd in a field of 43 teams while the women finished 28th in a field of 44 teams.

Soccer continues hot streak

The men’s soccer team continued their hot streak this week, shutting out Wheaton College 1-0 on Tuesday and then blanking Colby on Saturday 2-0 on Jackson Field. Alan Ashenfelter ’09 scored the game’s only goal on Tuesday, with tri-captain Matt Gnall ’08 pitching the team’s second consecutive shutout, making 3 saves. On Saturday, the Cards saw goals from Kyle Nuland ’09 and Keisuke Yamashita ’10, as well as strong performance in the net by Jamie Hiteshew ’08, who made 3 saves en route to the team’s third straight shutout victory.

Field hockey wins fourth straight

The field hockey team soared past their opponents this past week as they went 3-0, including two nail-biting overtime victories. On Tuesday and Thursday, the Cards faced off against non-conference opponents, Mt. Holyoke and Wellesley College, respectively. The team then went to beat NESCAC foe Colby College at home on Saturday.

Cards deliver against Colby

On Saturday the Cards took their second win of the season, beating the Colby Mules 23-14. With five lead changes, the victory most certainly qualified as exciting. The win ended a five-game losing streak against Colby and this is the first time in the last three years that Wesleyan Football has had a winning record.