There comes a time in every person’s life when they have to give up on their dreams. At least, some of their dreams. We can’t all be astronauts, and we, unfortunately, can’t all be cowboys (cow-people, perhaps). And we certainly can’t all be the Food Editor for the nation’s oldest bi-weekly non-wartime college newspaper.
That’s right, everybody. It’s time for me to hang up my cap, and move on to other parts of The Argus. The Food Section as you know it, after this last issue, will be no more. I know you’re sad. I am, too. And I just want to thank all of you who have contributed to my short but illustrious career as the sole Food Editor at The Wesleyan Argus. It’s been a wild ride, full of grilled cheese and opinionated vegetable defenses and group dates that turned into reality show competitions.
I want to thank most of all those loyal and devoted readers who stayed with me through vegetarian-related puns and ridiculous headlines. Your laughter, expressed to me through text and/or email, meant the world to me. You might even say that, at the end of the day, this meant the whole hog (or the whole rutabaga, for those of you keeping track of score at home).
Don’t imagine for a second, though, that I’ll be quitting the Food Section cold turkey (warm parsley? I’m running out of vegetarian material). I know that neither you nor I can handle a complete shutdown of recipes, of definitive lists, or the Food Section drama that we all live for.
Watch for the occasional column in the Features section come fall, provided my unrestricted humor and “off-the-wall antics” (not my words) make it past the editorial scrutiny of a team of Wesleyan’s best and brightest. Until then, feel free to reach out for culinary advice or for recommendations. I am always happy to help out a fellow hungry Cardinal in need.
Know that the Food Section will always live on in my heart, next to all of the built-up plaque in my arteries that will definitely become a problem for me later in life (a result, mostly, of multiple columns on grilled cheese—the lactose in which, by the way, I am fully intolerant of). I hope that it continues to live on in your hearts, too, until we all forget about it a few years from now and some upstart sophomore wants to start the Food Section again.
Good luck, kid, wherever you might be.
As always, and for the last time: good luck, be safe, and stay full.
Spencer Arnold can be reached at email@example.com.